Dreams and Painting

Last night I had a horrible, terrible dream. I dreamt that Jason and I went to the doctor for our routine monthly visit and the doctor discovered that we had lost the baby. I was horribly panicked, stressed, and it woke me up. I laid in bed for more than 30 minutes just waiting to feel him move around. I felt him basically right away, but still laid there to make sure I felt him and not just a muscle spasm or something like that. It was a devastating feeling right after I woke up, it was horrible. It made me realize how much I love my son already, and how much I want to care for him and prevent anything bad from happening to him. It was a very scary dream and I hope it doesn't happen again.

On a happier note, Jason felt the baby move for the first time yesterday! It was so funny because I asked him, "So, what did you think?" He said, "It was weird." Ugh, boys. They have no sense of sentimentality. I hope he gets more excited about it as time goes on and as the kicks get stronger. He is actually doing really well with being supportive, loving, caring, and at least pretending to be excited. He is starting to try to figure out how we are going to make everything work once the baby gets here, but I guess I will leave that to him for now, at least until it gets a little closer.

And finally, we are painting the nursery either today or tomorrow, yippee! We (meaning I, because Jason trusts me with this decision apparently) picked chocolate brown, teal, and green. It would have been pink if it was a girl, but since he is a boy he gets green instead. Hopefully I will be able to take pictures when we are finished. We don't have any furniture except for a rocking chair, so it will be a while before we get everything together and finished, but hopefully Spring Break will be our deadline. Let's see if I can convince Jason of that :-)

Hope everyone has a blessed day and a fantastic New Year!!

shopping

I finally broke down and got some maternity tops. I went to the store Motherhood Maternity and I love it!! They have some really cute clothes and they actually fit me and my growing belly. It isn't like buying things that are just extra large to make room for baby, but I can buy my normal medium size and it fits much better everywhere else, and there just happens to be room for the baby also. It is definitely a good thing. I also found some impulse-buy shoes at Kohl's, but I always find things there. I found some boots I really wanted but I wasn't convinced they were worth the price. Now I'm kinda regretting that decision, but what's done is done, right?

Tomorrow I will be playing golf for the first time since starting to grow a child. I think it might be pretty funny to see a pregnant lady out on the golf course, but hopefully I will get in some good exercise without looking too ridiculous. And it will probably be cold tomorrow so I can wear some big jackets and I won't look as obviously pregnant. We shall see how it goes, but I'm not too optimistic about my score at the end. Partly because of my belly, partly because my balance is not as good as it once was, and mostly because I haven't played in several months.

On a sadder note- I found out about a family who lost their mother last night to a bad car accident. There are three small children, one who was just delivered prematurely yesterday when she reached the hospital after the accident, and a husband who is now missing the mother of his children. I did not know this family personally, but it breaks my heart to know what they are going through. Please send prayers their way and ask for the Lord to comfort them. They are believers, and they will all be reunited in heaven one day, but it does not make the situation feel much better at the moment. I just pray they can find peace in the Lord and still trust that He is in control and He is who He says He is.

21 weeks and Christmas

Those are the big things that happened in the last couple of days. Since we found out we are having a boy we have been sharing the news with all of the family and friends we have been around in the last few days. It makes it seem so much more real now that we know he is a he, and we can call him a him now, rather than just "squishy" like Jason calls him. We even got some baby Christmas presents from the grandmas (a baby photo album, socks, a bib, and a glider rocker). We haven't bought anything for him yet, because, while we like to plan ahead, we want to make sure of what we want before we go buy anything. Having the rocker is very exciting, though, because it was one of those things I really wanted but probably would not have bought for myself, so thanks mom! 21 weeks means the countdown is officially in the teens. Can that be real? I can't believe it. I have another ultrasound coming up in about 3 weeks and I can't wait to see our little guy again.

I'm starting to feel nervous about what it is going to mean to be a mom to a newborn. I know how much work they can be from an outsider's point of view, because I have never been around an infant for any length of time to see what all it really takes. Like I said, I understand the idea and can kinda get a feel for it, but I'm totally unprepared for the total exhaustion that is going to come along with motherhood. Don't get me wrong, I've wanted to be a mother for a long time, especially since Jason and I got married 4.5 years ago, but the reality is starting to sink in and all I can think about is that I just want to do a good job and not mess up. I know, I know, every parent messes up here and there, but I still don't want to :-) All I can think about is, "will I be a good mom?" "How will I make sure I raise a God-fearing, God-honoring son who is respectful to everyone and places the Lord before all else?" "What am I going to do when I am so tired I can't stand up anymore but he still needs things from me and to be taken care of?" Yeah, the list goes on and on. It is very daunting but I keep reminding myself that this is God's plan for Jason and I, and He would not have given this beautiful baby boy to us if He wasn't going to equip us for the job. All I can say is, "Lord, make me strong and help me be the mother I need to be for my son."

It's a BOY!!

That's right, we are going to have a son! It is so hard to believe because I always thought I would have a girl, and always pictured myself with a girl, even though I wanted a boy first. So I am still a little in shock about having a boy like I wanted. Jason is very excited to have a son, although he would have been just fine having a girl, too. The baby is already showing his stubborn side and wouldn't cooperate yesterday at our ultrasound. The tech had to poke and prod him before he would let us take a picture of his "stuff" that proved he was a "he." He then kept his hand over his face so we couldn't get a good picture of his profile, and all the pictures of his face have his hand in front. It was really surreal looking at him all over the screen at the doctor's office yesterday. It made it really real that I am having a child, and that he really is in there. He is measuring about 4 days ahead of schedule, but they kept my due date the same because his growth can fluctuate between now and when he gets here. Hopefully he comes really close to his due date!

We decided we are going to keep the name a secret until we have him in May, but that would be more of a challenge if we actually had anything picked out yet, which we don't. We have one we have talked about, but Jason doesn't love it, so we are going to keep the discussion open until we decide on something we both like. The funny thing is we had a girl name picked out, but that doesn't do us any good right now :-) So, I will post when we have a name decided on, but nobody gets to know until he makes his appearance and we can introduce him to the family!

In other news, today we are making tamales and posole with Jason's family. We wanted to start this tradition last year, but Jason had a terrible stomach virus so we had to stay home instead of coming to their house to help. We get to help this year, though, and it is going well so far! It is going to be wonderful when we actually get to eat these things on Christmas day during the White Elephant gift exchange that takes place every year with Jason's dad's family. Talk about a riot! It is hilarious because most people just bring junk from their house, but they try to make it seem much better than it is. Anywho, I will definitely be looking forward to the tamales! I hope everyone has a very merry Christmas and that we all remember the reason for the season. God bless.

1/2 way there

I can't believe tomorrow marks the half-way point of growing this baby. I feel like a blimp, and things are stretching, pulling, and twinging all the time. The good part, however, is I can feel baby moving all day long, and I finally have my energy back! I'm still tired all the time from teaching and whatnot, but the pregnancy fatigue is waning. Jason has yet to feel the baby moving, but I'm really looking forward to when he can feel it! We have our gender determination ultrasound on Wednesday and I can hardly stand waiting. We keep calling it a "he", but sometimes "she" slips out, and Jordan decided that while it is a boy, it is a "she" when he talks about it. So there is no real feeling either way, so it is going to be a surprise no matter what! I just hope the midwife doesn't say I've gained too much weight, because I feel like I am really packing on the pounds!

In other news, we have a completed remodel! Our livingroom and all the bedrooms got carpet yesterday and it is so wonderful to get to walk around comfortably in our house without shoes on. And having carpet means we got to put up our Christmas tree! Neither Jason nor I feel like it is Christmas season yet because we didn't have any decorations in our house until today, but hopefully now we can get into the spirit. We have been listening to Christmas music for the past few weeks, so hopefully that will help. It's super nice getting to sit by our fireplace and enjoy our Christmas tree now.

Jason is going to take this week off from work so we will both have two full weeks to hang out. We are going Christmas shopping tomorrow and Monday. We are making tamales and posole with his family on Thursday. Friday is luminaria day. What an awesome time of year it is!

Ok, I think that is all from my end. Hopefully I will get some pictures up of the bump and of the livingroom remodel here soon. We will see how productive I can be this week that I have off :-) Have a blessed Christmas!

sick

Unfortunately, I have caught a cold. Who wouldn't? I mean, I work with 20 sniffling, sneezing, coughing children every day, I have stress out the wazoo, and I'm pregnant. I'm shocked I held off this long! I have a horribly head cold and have gone through an entire box of lotion Kleenex in 3 days. It is kinda rough. But it is much more work for me to call in sick than it is to actually go to work, so I have just been going to work. Thankfully I have the weekend to rest, but it is going to be a pretty busy one. I get to have lunch with a friend who I worked with last year. Tonight is dinner with Jason's parents. Tomorrow is church and lesson planning. I'm so glad there are only 2 weeks left of work, then I can have a true vacation, and enjoy our new livingroom hopefully!

The electricians are here right now finishing up the sockets and everything. They say they will be done today which means we can finally use our fireplace! Of course we missed the cold snap we had last week and couldn't use it then, but we will be using it the moment we get the OK. It is still going to be a little while before we get carpet and tile down in the livingroom, which is a little bit of a bummer, but it is going to be nice not having workers here all the time. Hopefully I can get some pictures of it almost completed so everyone can see the progress. I hope they hurry because I want to set up our Christmas tree! We may have to leave it up an extra week or so since we can't set it up when we wanted to.

OK, I think that is the update. Oh, Jordan is being incredibly cute about the baby. He always asks how the baby is doing. He talks about him/her growing and getting bigger. Last night he said a prayer for the baby. And when we left my parents' house last night he gave the baby a hug and a kiss. Literally, he hugged just my little belly then kissed it. It was adorable!! Him talking about it makes it feel much more real for me. I am +10lbs so far, although I lost a pound this week, so I'm not sure what is going on there. I'm looking forward to the next appointment because we get to see the baby and find out if it is a him or a her. So exciting! I hope everyone has a great weekend! God bless and take care.

Thanksgiving x2

That's right, two Thanksgiving dinners. Talk about amazing! Thursday we had dinner with Jason's dad's family up in Albuquerque. It was really nice to see everyone! We haven't seen them since I told them I was pregnant, so that was kinda fun. Then yesterday we had dinner with my family. If you count the babies there were 34 of us at one point! It was so crazy but incredibly fun. I actually was able to carry on a tradition, with the help of my Gran, of making homemade noodles in a broth/gravy type sauce. They actually turned out pretty good! They would have been better if we had some of the turkey drippings instead of just using chicken broth, but I think overall they turned out pretty good. Now I have the confidence to make them without my Gran here, if that happens. I'm glad they came out for Thanksgiving and I think they might be coming for Christmas, so that is going to be great. We used a pasta extruder for cutting the noodles and she said either we have to use that when she comes here or if I go out there I have to take it, lol. She surprised me by letting me use the extruder this time, because she is very much for tradition, but it was so easy that I don't think she could resist getting away with less work! It was fun spending yesterday cooking with her and learning some of her tricks.

Today we are going to go shopping in town. Hopefully all the maniacs went yesterday and the crowds today will be much more pleasant. I have some clothes picked out that I want to show my mom for Christmas present ideas (on her request). Then we are going to go to an Arts and Crafts fair and have dinner with my grandma. I love the holidays! Between all the eating, the family, and the time off work, I don't think there is a better time of the year.

Uneventful doctor's visit

Which I guess is a really good thing, right? We didn't have to wait an hour like last time, which was awesome, and the appointment pretty much consisted of getting weighed (+7 lbs so far), the midwife answering questions, then hearing the heartbeat again. It is the coolest little sound. And next time we go it will be for an ultrasound! I haven't had one yet, which I thought was kinda uncommon, but apparently that is the norm, and those who get ultrasounds more often are the exceptions. I am so glad that everything is going well for me, though. The only problem I am having is sciatic nerve pain like crazy. It is the worst when I walk around for a while, sit down, then stand back up. I feel like I am going to crumple from the pain. Not cool. Other than that I'm doing well. I'm still tired all the time but I think I have to attribute that to being a first year teacher and not so much the pregnancy anymore. I have a 5 day weekend right now, so hopefully I can fill up my energy stores and be able to make it through the next three weeks (until Christmas break) with gusto. We'll see.

Before you ask, yes, at the ultrasound we are going to find out if we are having a boy or a girl. I am too much of a planner not to know. I thought it would be fun to have the surprise at the birth, but then I realized how much I dislike the color yellow, and everything I would buy would be yellow or green, and I'm not a fan. So this way I can be prepared, have the nursery ready, and I think I will finally get Jason to start thinking about names. We think we have a nursery theme picked out (the colors at least) so that was a big step for him. He doesn't want to talk about these things yet, I think because it isn't quite real to him. Although, he has started talking to my belly periodically.

In house news: They have knocked down our existing livingroom wall and opened up the space into the addition. It looks SO DIFFERENT!! I couldn't believe it when I came home on Friday and saw it because it totally changes the way our house feels. The stucco is done on the outside, although by "done" I mean it is just the gray scratch coat because we aren't going to stucco the whole house quite yet. We have to replace the windows first and that isn't going to happen for a while. Constant work in progress I guess. The fireplace is installed and they should be working on the stone and all that around it here pretty soon. They only have a week from today to be finished, so they better get on it! When they are done we are going to put carpet in the livingroom (our easiest, cheapest solution since the hardwood we like is really expensive) and stain the existing parkay floors (hideous, but we can't afford to take it all out to change it yet) to match our kitchen floors. We are kinda just hoping it works well because we don't really have a backup plan at the moment. We shall see! The roof is finished thanks to Jason, my dad, and Jason's parents. The wood for our front and back porch beams and posts is being stained as we speak and there is also a drywall guy here finishing up mudding the drywall so it can be sanded and then textured (which I think is happening today if I remember correctly).

I think that is all from me for right now. This turned into a much longer post than I had anticipated. My grandparents are here from Texas to stay with us for a week, so we are really enjoying that. I will be sad to see them go whenever they have to leave. I'm really looking forward to all the Thanksgiving activities, but yesterday my midwife told me to stay away from sweets. That is a HUGE bummer because holiday sweets are my FAVORITE sweets. I guess I will just have to pace myself. I hope everyone has a fantastic, blessed Thanksgiving!!

15 weeks

That is my official week count as of today. Unfortunately, I don't have many new things to say, other than I am feeling pretty good and I'm excited that I'm starting to show a little. And I'm finally looking less fat and more pregnant. Here is a picture I took last Sunday at 14 weeks. I haven't changed much, hence no new picture.

Belly

And so it begins- the growing tummy. Last night I noticed that when I laid down my tummy no longer sank down and my ribs nor hip bones show anymore when laying down. It was actually pretty exciting seeing the proof that my tummy is growing. That is weird for me to say, that I'm happy about getting fat, but knowing what it means makes it all better. And I took a picture of myself recently (when I was full and slightly bloated, mind you) and there is definitely a "pooch" which I am going to think of as a bump rather than just a big belly. I went shopping today for some clothes with a friend of mine and actually had to consider what I am going to look like in a couple of months (or sooner). (The girl I went shopping with is exactly 4 weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy, so it is fun getting to shop with her and talk about having babies and compare stories and feelings. She is really close to me in age and it seems like we have a lot in common, so that helps, too.) I feel like I am starting to gain quite a bit of weight, but I've also realized that my weigh fluctuates like crazy, so I have no idea how much I have actually gained. I like the scale at the doctor's office, so I think I will probably go by their measurements :-)

I got to go to a training today to learn how to use my new interactive whiteboard!! It was so informational and wonderful, and I learned a TON of stuff. We even got to start making things we could use on our board, and practicing some different tricks to make the board even cooler. I'm very excited to start using it as soon as I get the remote that turns the thing on! (Long story...)

I think that is it for the updates for now. Oh, our remodel is coming along quite nicely. The livingroom is completely framed in, and the bones of the front porch are up. The windows and the fireplace are installed in the livingroom but there is no insulation, drywall, or anything else up on the walls yet. It makes the space feel very real, though, which is cool. I don't know what the next step is, but things seem to be moving along pretty quickly. The roof is going on this weekend, in fact Jason's parents already started putting it on today. It is really going to make our house look different! It is a silver metal roof, rather than the red and black shingles that were on there before we started this whole project. I think the contractor's next move is to put the stone around the fireplace, so we have to go pick out the stone we are going to use for the hearth. It is pretty exciting that we are to the point that we get to pick out more details! I asked Jason to take some pictures of the house yesterday afternoon, but I don't know if he has or not. You know how guys are ;-) Hopefully I can get some good pictures soon!

Beating Heart

There is a baby growing inside of me!! I mean, I knew there was, but now I have heard proof that there is actually life! It was so amazing to hear that sound yesterday, and it just made it completely real. Ok, maybe not completely real, but definitely more real than just a positive pregnancy test. I have my next appointment on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, then we get to have our ultrasound (to find out the gender and see the baby for the first time) on the Wednesday before Christmas. That is going to make for some interesting holiday-time conversations! I know our families are so excited, though, and that just makes it all the more enjoyable. I love my baby so much, and it is going to be +/- 30 weeks before I can even meet him/her!

On a slightly different note, it seems like EVERYONE is pregnant right now. I have three college friends, two childhood friends, and two coworkers that are all expecting right now. It is crazy! I used to feel really jealous of those people because I want to be a mother so bad, but now I get to join them! It is exciting and I'm looking forward to sharing my experiences with these people.

And, on a completely different note, we have officially started our livingroom remodel. Our front porch is gone (they are going to repour the porch concrete and make a pretty roof over the porch to make our house not so rectangular), and our back porch is gone. We are adding on about 300 sq.ft., including a fireplace. I'm so excited about it because it will finally feel like a home, rather than a college house that is long and straight, like we are just living here for now but will move when the opportunity arises. This way, when the work is done, it will be the house we have made our own, and we won't want to move right away, because it is just like we want it. I hope the financial commitment is worth it, but from what I keep hearing it will be completely worth it. I'm excited and it is cool seeing the progress that the crew makes every day while we are at work. I'm thankful we are able to afford to do this and to make this house a home we can grow as a family in. God is good!

Names

Ok, so I know it is a little early to be thinking about names, but I can't help myself. I read through an entire baby name book and found approx 20 names that I like. Even though I think I am going to have a girl, I actually found more boy names than girl names that I liked. Fortunately we have a while to decide... about 30 weeks, because Jason and I have a hard time agreeing on these things. We are going to keep talking about it and hopefully narrow it down a little, because I'd like to know at least what his opinion is about the subject. I think we have talked about it a grand total of one time, and we can to a pseudo agreement, but nothing concrete. Luckily, we both know what we DON'T like, so that makes it a little bit easier. Now, if I could just get him to talk about nursery themes with me...

We will find out the sex of the baby hopefully the week before Christmas. That will be my 20th week, and supposedly that is when I get to have my ultrasound. I should probably make that appointment earlier than they suggest, so I make sure I can get in that week. Thankfully I won't be in school for that week, so that gives me quite a bit of flexibility. We shall see.

Another thing I hope to happen before Christmas is our house remodel to be completed. We are going to add on to our livingroom and add a front porch. The front is mostly just to break up the straight line that is our roof, but it will extend the porch a tiny bit, so that will be nice. And it might pave the way for us to add some room to the front to make a dining area. The living room addition is to help our house feel less like a straight line and more like defined spaces. We are going to add a back porch area (patio), a fireplace, and a couple of windows. It will make our livingroom about 300sq.ft. bigger, so it is going to be really nice. Hopefully the cost is worth it, though, because goodness is it going to be expensive. Thankfully we have family that can help us out while we get our financing figured out, so we can get it started before that.

Life is so full of happenings right now that I sometimes have a hard time keeping track of them! Hopefully I don't get lost in the shuffle. Have a blessed day!

ah, the life of a teacher

So, this is going to be less about pregnancy and more about my life right now.

I had a very stressful week. My kids were crazy, some of my teaching resources were taken away to be "reaccounted for" and those happen to be the only thing I have for teaching that particular thing. I have to do the benchmark test on all my students in reading right now, and if they don't "pass" at one level I have to retest them at different levels until they do. I never have all of my students in the room at the same time, so coming up with times to do class talks or rewards is incredibly difficult. Not only that, but my classroom opened up yesterday and the school is still trying to figure out a way to get us (3 other teachers and me) a day or two next week to work on our classes, but right now there is a lot of disagreement. I understand both sides, but it sure would be nice to have some help at least a little next week. Some parents are going to come help over the weekend (I hope) so that should ease the burden a little. I'm just trying to figure out how the most efficient way to organize everything is so that the kids have the least amount of disruption and the most gets done in the new room before the kids start in there the following Monday. Ah, the may hats that a teacher has to wear- organizer, holder of knowledge, politician, beggar, planner, mover, decorator, mom/aunty, caregiver, and disciplinarian. It is not an easy job. And for anyone who think it is, they should try it for a day. In fact, they can come to my class and I will help them, and they can still see what it is like just for one day. It is the most rewarding (paid) job in the entire world and I love it, but sometimes I just wish it could be a little easier.

The pregnancy is going well, nothing to report. I'm 9 weeks 5 days today and am getting a massage (because I gotta unwind from this week). Hopefully that won't be a big deal, but I'm assuming they would have said something to me when I booked if it was, since I was upfront about that information. Hope everyone has a blessed day!

school and happenings

I am, in fact, sitting at school right now, trying to figure out something to make my stomach feel better. It has been an interesting week or so because I haven't really felt sick at all, but last night was horrible, though still no throwing up. This morning is no better and now I have intestinal pains (gas bubble?) that I'm trying to remedy before my students come in 45 minutes. Thankfully today is the last day of this week because we have "fall break" tomorrow. One day off, but that means I get to sleep in, so I will take it. Tomorrow is busy because I am going to have a massage, take Abby to the vet for some shots, visit my husband's cousin who has a book for me, and we are going to the Special Shapes Glow-deo at the Balloon Fiesta. Hopefully I am feeling better tomorrow!

In other news, the architect and school inspectors are coming to check out my newly renovated classroom today! That means I get to start moving in this afternoon! A lot of good that does me since I can start class in there until the 18th, but at least I can start putting up some posters and things so I won't have to do that in a week or so. The movers for the furniture aren't coming until the 15th, so I can't move any furniture until then. Hopefully I will have a lot of help next weekend from family and students' parents so I can knock it out in one day rather than having to come on Saturday and Sunday next weekend. Unfortunately, we are going on a field trip on Friday afternoon, so I won't be able to do anything then. I'm sure it will work out and I'm super excited to finally get to be in the building with everyone else!

I'll keep everyone updated if anything interesting happens with the baby, but hopefully it will be pretty uneventful and then I will get to hear the baby's heart beat at my next appointment which is on October 27. So far!! But I can do it. Thankfully my job keeps me so busy that time usually flies by. Have a blessed day!

Appointment Update

I guess in this case no news is good news, right? All the doctor did was go over our medical history and remind me how "healthy" I am. This is a really good thing for baby (who Jason has started calling "our squishy" like from Finding Nemo) but not so much for me because I really wanted to see him/her. I get to wait until the regular ultrasound at 20 weeks for that. This is going to be right around Christmas so it is going to be a great Christmas present. She confirmed my due date at May 8, which happens to be mother's day. And it was pointed out to me that we told our parents we were pregnant on grandparent's day... we didn't even plan that! I thought that was kinda cool though. So yeah, that is the update. She did a pelvic exam and tells me, "your uterus points backward, did you know that?" Me: "No, what does that mean?" Her: "Oh nothing, it's relatively common. It just means you are going to have more backaches." Me: "Great!"

So that was it. It was about as uneventful as it could have been. I peed in a cup and got some blood drawn. I felt bad that I drug Jason with me because it ended up being so boring. Oh well, I think next time we get to hear the heartbeat, so that would be cool. I like my midwife and will probably stay with her for the duration of my pregnancy, unless something unexpected happens.

Other than that I have been feeling pretty good. I have backaches now, like she predicted, and my hips are really starting to bother me, especially today. That could be because I spent the morning pulling weeds, though. My nausea is going away and I haven't felt sick for a few days now. I'm still exhausted most of the time, but I'm hoping that will get better here in the next couple of weeks. It is supposed to anyway. We shall see. Thanks for all the prayers!

First appointment

Tomorrow is the big day! I get to go to the doctor for the first time. I'm so excited and nervous at the same time. I'm nervous because I want everything to be OK. If I'm being honest, these last few days I haven't felt very pregnant. It is probably mostly because I have a cold and that pretty much trumps everything right now. I had a tiny bit of food aversion this morning, but I still ate breakfast, and I'm kinda tired, but I figure that could be from the cold as well. Who knows, I guess I'm just playing tricks on myself. I have no cramping and no bleeding, which apparently are both good signs. I don't know why I am worrying, either, because I can't do anything to control this either way. I guess I am just going to have to try to keep my stress level down so that I don't do any unintentional harm to him/her. I will update tomorrow once I know how everything is going and if anything has changed! Wish me luck!

Give me PICKLES!!

You heard me, pickles. Dill. Right now. Please?? So far that is my only crazy pregnancy craving. And there is nothing I can do about those when I am at school, it is pretty frustrating. I would love to be able to just keep a jar of pickles in my desk, but I'm pretty sure my students would think that was really weird ;-). Other than that I am feeling pretty good. I have my morning sickness in the evenings, which is a mixed blessing (I would like to feel good when I get home, but at least I'm not sick when I'm trying to teach). It is pretty mild and I haven't vomited... yet. I still have some difficulty with breakfast, but i think I've found something I can eat even when I'm feeling puny. I drink a glass of milk right when I get out of the shower, then I can eat waffles with fruity syrup (not regular syrup, yuck) later in the morning right before I leave. So far it is working OK. At least I am not starving to death. Lunch seems to be the only meal I don't have problems with, which is a good thing because its either eat what I brought or don't eat at all. Not many choices! Maybe I should take a jar of pickles and put them in the lounge, then if I can't eat lunch at least I'll have a pickle!

Knowing and waiting

I think most of the family finally knows! You don't know how much family you actually have until you have to call them to tell them important news like this. And unfortunately I don't have everyone's number, so I am relying on the news to spread on its own to the remaining few. Now all I get to do is just wait for my first doctor's appointment. It is in about a week and a half and it is going to take SO LONG to get here. I don't even know if they are going to do anything exciting at that appointment, like an ultrasound, but I certainly hope so. Supposedly it is a TON of paperwork and blood tests and thing like that, but I haven't heard any confirmation about whether I will get to see/hear baby or not. I guess I am just going to have to wait and see.

My symptoms are no different. I haven't had any morning sickness in the last couple of days and I am not as tired as I have been. I hope this means I am on the up-swing and will feel better for a while. I know the symptoms come and go, but I kinda hope they stay away, as long as it still means a happy baby.

We have started discussing nursery ideas, but my darling husband thinks it is entirely too early to even start contemplating things like that. I keep bringing it up anyway ;-) We have only talked about potential names once, and I even feel like it is a little early for that. We are just going to let this baby marinate for a while and then figure out the important things, like a name, further on down the road I guess.

On a different note, this weekend (ok, just today) I did a whole lot of planning and prepping for this week, and I am hoping that will mean that this week will go much more smoothly than last week did. I have all my things in bundles for the copies I need to make, and I have most things planned out for the week (I think, unless things take a whole lot less time than I am anticipating). This week starts a different part of instruction that I have to include in my mornings (ESL) and it is going to definitely be a different routine in the morning for me. Oddly enough, it is pretty much just me that is going to be affected by it, the kids won't really notice a difference. Unfortunately, I have a training that I have to go to on Tuesday morning, which means the third sub in 4 days for my poor students. I hate being out so much, but mandatory training and illnesses are impossible to avoid. Hopefully this is the last time I will be out for a while.

Now the world can know...

That I'm pregnant!! I am so excited I can barely contain myself!! We found out about 2.5 weeks ago but just finished telling the family, so now it is safe to spread the news on the blog. I plan to use this as a pregnancy updater, of sorts, and hope to be diligent about posting now that I know several people will be reading it.

What I know so far: Not much. I have an "estimated due date" of May 8th (Mother's day) but that is just from an online calculator. I can't go to the doctor until I am 8 weeks, which is next Sunday, so my first appointment is the following Wednesday. Yep, tomorrow makes 7 weeks. I still am in shock that I am actually pregnant, but I definitely have all the symptoms. Ok, most of the symptoms. I'm tired all the time, I have some morning sickness (that doesn't just happen in the morning, by the way), I'm sore, and a tiny bit emotional. It isn't horrible yet, just a little uncomfortable.

We have told all the family that we needed to tell. The rest are going to find out through the grapevine I'm sure. We were pleasantly surprised at all the reactions we received. We did not plan anything elaborate to tell our parents, although I thought that would have been fun. We just had them over for dinner and told them all at once. My parents and Jason's mom were all in tears, my sister was so excited, and Jason's dad hugged me with a big smile on his face. It was so wonderful. The only one missing was Jason's sister, but she had to go back to college :-( Darn that school.

I haven't quite figured out how I am going to tell my boss yet... He is a really nice guy, and the school has a family atmosphere, but I don't want to stress him out with my due date being so far away. I think I will tell him after my doctor's appointment, if I can wait that long. The problem is there is another pregnant teacher at school, and I don't want him to get stressed out about having multiple teachers gone at the same time. She is due like 3 months before me, so hopefully it won't be a big deal. We will just have to see what happens when I finally tell him though.

Other than that I don't have much to say. I'm still trying to get it to sink in that we are going to be parents, but it is harder than I thought it would be, lol. We know what room is going to be the nursery but that is about it. We have some other home improvement projects we would like to do, but we aren't sure if they are going to happen before the baby comes, after, or at all. Should be interesting trying to figure that out...

Teaching is going well. It has been a challenging year so far, but I keep hearing that is just how it is being a first year teacher. I have tried a bazillion different things it feels like, but nothing is working quite like I envision it. I guess that is why being flexible is so important! Hopefully I can figure something out soon so that my kids can really start to get into a routine and we can settle in. Like I said, hopefully soon.

Jason and I were both laid up sick yesterday with the stomach virus that is going around right now. It was horrible and it was still lingering a little bit today. I was supposed to go to a math training today but that didn't happen because I was still feeling puny this morning when I woke up. Plus, I didn't want to get all the other nice people at the training sick because apparently this is super contagious. My sister, niece, and nephew had it first, and now the only person in the entire family that hasn't gotten it is my younger brother. Even my parents' foreign exchange student got it! It is not pleasant. Thankfully I am feeling better now and I am looking forward to a really good night's sleep.

OK, I think that is all from me for now. Like I said, hopefully I will be able to keep this updated for everyone who is curious. Please pray for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby as a result! Praise the Lord that I am going to be a mother! I know things can still happen this early on, but I want all my friends and family's support if anything does happen. We will just have to wait and see as it is in God's hands for the next 7.5 months! And after that, too, but you know what I mean :-)

Labor day weekend

This weekend was a pretty good one. After the week I had I needed a break. On Friday night a friend of ours from TTU came into town for a visit. Unfortunately, my mom's uncle passed away about a month ago so there was a HUGE family dinner on Friday night that I wanted to go to. The boys went to eat with another friend instead of coming to the family dinner. Then, Saturday we went up to Jason's parents' cabin in Jemez. It was so nice and relaxing to just sit up there with no tv (or video games or football) and we just hung out, played games, and ate. We went for a nice little hike on Sunday morning, ate lunch, then came home. Last night we watched the TTU vs. SMU game that Jason recorded, and then they watch most of the OSU vs. TCU game. The friend that went to dinner with Jason and the other friend joined us for all of these escapades as well. It was just spending a weekend with friends since I don't get to do that very often. Today we woke up, Jason and Jonathan went to get donuts (day old unfortunately, because everything is closed on Labor Day), I washed my car, showered, and now the boys are playing video games while I try to finish up laundry. Overall it has been a very good weekend.

I'm so excited to see what this week is going to have in store for me, because I'm starting to get the class under control and to figure out some fun things to do with the kids so that they are still learning but having fun at the same time. It seems like third grade is difficult for them because up until now there has been a lot of hand-holding and coaching throughout the day, not much independent work. Now, however, with the need to do reading groups and the math program, there is a lot more time during the day when the students need to be independent. They are slowly but surely getting the hang of it, but I'm afraid it might be a little longer before we run like a well-oiled machine. However, I'm still just excited that our a/c works again!

Tonight we are going to go eat dinner with my parents before we have to take Jonathan back to the airport. I think we are having ribs, corn, and tomatoes (fresh from the garden!) yum! We are considering having both sets of parents over this coming Friday night since we haven't had them over in a while. We will see if they want to come or not. I hope everyone had a great three-day weekend and has an even better week!!

Two weeks down

Today was day 10 of school and I'm grateful to say I am finally finding a groove. I am planning enough but not too much (usually), and the kids are relatively happy. I don't have the slightest idea about what I am going to do when I have to start pulling small groups a couple of times during the day, but I guess I will have to figure that out! It will be interesting, especially at first. I don't have a choice, though, and the kids are worth me figuring it out.

There is such an interesting dynamic at my school. There are so many people with so much experience, and then there is me. There is another teacher who has been there since October of last year, so she is relatively new, but she has almost a whole year under her belt. It is really nice having another young teacher to commiserate with. There is another young-ish teacher who has helped me out a lot, although I think she has taught for several years. I'm just so glad that everyone is so helpful!

I know that wasn't much of an update, but I haven't blogged for a while so that is what you get. Hopefully something more interesting will happen in the next few days so I can blog about that. Take care!

1/2 days are the best days

One week down, about 39 to go! I am starting to get a little bit overwhelmed with how much I have to teach my kiddos this year, and I don't understand how to use some of my curriculum yet. It is pretty stressful. I know that feeling overwhelmed is completely normal for a first year teacher, and for all teachers at this time of the year. Thankfully my colleagues are taking care of me and calming me down the best they can. I just feel so inadequate for all I have to do for my kids this year. What were they thinking giving me a teaching certificate?? haha. I know I will get into the swing of things here shortly, but I've also heard that I will feel overwhelmed for the whole year. I certainly hope not, because I might have an anxiety attack if I do... ugh. I wish I had more time to hang out with my husband and to do the tutoring that I promised I would continue, but so far work is completely consuming my life right now. There is so much prep work that goes into what I am teaching, and since I don't have many materials, I have to make everything from scratch. I also have several online teacher's editions that I am trying to decipher and I need to start learning how to use my SmartBoard. Gah! There are so many things I need to do!

Thankfully, tomorrow is a half day for the students which means there is at least 1.5 hours of prep/planning time in the afternoon that I plan to make full use of. I have tons of copies to make and several things to get organized. I guess I need to work on not getting too overwhelmed when thinking about all the things I need to do, and just take it one thing at a time.

Ok, I'm just getting more stressed out when I think about all the things I need to do. I just had the first evening off since I started work and was really enjoying it until I realized what I needed to do. Thank the Lord for 1/2 days on Wednesdays!!

4 official days

I have been an APS employee for 4 days, officially, even though I have been working for the last week and a half at my school. I have 19 students in my class. 4 are legally blind and require special services daily. It is an incredible challenge and I learn something new every day from them. I am completely exhausted after only 2.5 days of teaching. I hope I'll be able to get into a routine sooner as opposed to later, but so far I am still having a hard time figuring out what kind of flow to have during the day. Thankfully, Monday will start pullouts and specials, so it will help break up the day a little bit more. I'm love working at this school and everyone is so supportive and helpful, even though I am sure I am really irritating several of them with all of my questions. It has been a good week, though, overall, and I'm glad that I will get a weekend to try to catch my breath and recover before next week.

That's all the news for now. More updates to come!

First year jitters

Yeah, they are starting to set in. It probably mostly has to do with not officially being hired at this moment. Yes, I got the call that I had a job on Tuesday of this week, but my background check still hasn't made it to the APS central office. Supposedly this was the fastest way to do it, but apparently I should have paid the $30 to just have my fingerprints taken again, because I might not get it in time to start on Wednesday. It is stressing me out! I'm sure I am not the only one that is going through this, but it is super frustrating.

My principal and the staff I work with are amazing. Don't get me wrong, I really miss my previous school's staff and will always miss them, but I feel so welcome at this school and everyone has helped me tremendously. I have so many more resources and materials than I started out with, which was NOTHING, so I'm very grateful for that. Several teachers have taken me under their wings to show me the ropes and help me out with these first few days of school. The school is wonderful with technology as well. Every classroom has 5 computers, I have a laptop, and my classroom has a document camera, a smartboard, and an LCD projector. It is wonderful!! I now have to learn how to do all those things, haha.

My class is going to be very unique. I have 6 ESL kids, 4 visually impaired kids, 3 gifted kids, and several "in the middle" kids. I am really looking forward to working with all these students! I have to teach in Spanish for 45 minutes each day and I have to give an ESL lesson every day for the ESL kids. It is going to be really interesting and I'm sure there will never be a dull moment! What a way to start out my teaching career.

Speaking of never-a-dull-moment, I am ready to go to bed. Have a fabulous weekend and I will do my best not to stress out over the weekend!

Job news

I got a job! 8th time's a charm apparently, because that is how many interviews it took, but I don't care anymore! 3rd grade bilingual... So excited and nervous and curious and all kinds of other emotions. Let's start at the beginning- what does one do on the very first day of school?? Anybody know?

New hobby

Just a quick job search update- still nothing. I have another interview today that I am extremely excited about, but I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up. We will see what happens.

So, my new hobby is painting. I did my first one in a class in college (art for kids or something like that) and gave it to my sister. Then, this Christmas I made one that kinda matched it for her. She wanted to learn how to do it so that's when we made the one for the kids. She branched out and made one for herself but I designed it for her. I just finished my first one for someone that isn't my sister, lol, and it turned out so cute! I love doing these and they are relatively quick and easy to make, so it's a doable hobby. Anyway, here they are!


The very first one I made in that art class.


The matching one.


The one I did for Jordan.


The one Lauren made for Shelby. This was her very first one to paint, I think she did great!


The one my sister made for herself.


The one for a cousin's baby.

Waiting game

Yep, here I sit, still waiting for the job God wants me to have. I was so optimistic that I would get a ton of job offers after several interview and I would have my choice of where I wanted to work. Well, apparently God did not have that same plan for me. I have done 7 interviews now, including the one for kindergarten I did today, and still nothing has popped up. I got a call yesterday from HR asking if I still wanted to sub starting in the fall. It really hit me then that I might not be a full time teacher, but instead I will be making half that as a sub. Not that it is all about money, because we all know teachers don't make enough to begin with, but we have some things going on and having a salary would be a much greater benefit for me than just being paid hourly. I want a class of my own because I really rely on routines and being in a different class every day would be really difficult for me. Not to mention my slight fear of strangers and strange situations (which every day would be...). My wonderful husband is so supportive, and says amazingly encouraging things to me about why I haven't gotten a job yet. He tells me I am a great teacher and I would bless the lives of the kids in my class, that he knows I can teach anything anywhere in Spanish or English, and that God must have something super special lined up for me or else why would He have me wait this long? I could not ask for a better man to be by my side through this.

I don't really have anything new to say on the subject. I'm still waiting and there is nothing I can do about it. There are three openings in the school district that is closest to me, but they are going to wait just long enough to hire someone so that person will be classified as "short term" like I was and then that person will have to reapply again next school year. It is pretty crummy, but again, nothing I can do about it.

I am starting to get excited about my upcoming trip to Lubbock. I get to spend the weekend with some fantastic friends, and go to a wedding for another friend. It is going to be so nice that I am afraid I am not going to want to come back, especially if I don't have a job waiting for me.

I get to play soccer again this weekend. I haven't played in 6 years, except for once in Honduras and two or three times in Peru a couple of years ago (on dirt fields). I played last weekend with a friend who needed more girls on his team and it was so much fun! Thankfully my skills came back pretty quickly and I was able to settle right into playing. Unfortunately I am not in as good of shape as I was when I played all the time, but it was OK because we had enough subs to cover when one of us got tired. I'm looking forward to playing again and I hope I can make this a semi-regular thing, although I think this is their last game for a while. Maybe we can just play for fun? If only Jason played, too, then it would be even more fun. But I will take what I can get for now.

Ok, off to the grocery store. Have a blessed afternoon!

life as of late

In all reality, nothing much is going on in my life. I am still enjoying my summer as much as possible. I workout (ZUMBA!!!) every morning, which is really enjoyable because it gets me up and moving for the day. Then, every day but Wednesday I tutor. I am thoroughly enjoying tutoring and it makes me so happy to see progress being made even in a short amount of time. I think I can really make a difference for one of my tutorees, and that is really exciting. Then, inbetween tutoring and everything else that happens during the day I am spending a lot of time with my sister and her babies. It is so nice to get to see them so much and I know I am really going to miss that once school starts again in August.

Speaking of school starting, I am still without a job. It is so frustrating because there are a ton of jobs I am qualified for but because my Spanish is not perfect I keep being passed by for other people who speak better Spanish. I am very confident in my teaching capabilities, however my Spanish is not that of a "native speaker" and that puts me at a huge disadvantage. Unfortunately, the only way I am going to get better at it is if I practice by teaching! Nobody is willing to give me that opportunity at the moment, though, and I don't know what I am going to do to convince someone to hire me. I know my Spanish is good enough for most situation, but I do not interview well aparently because nobody else has seen it yet. It is just a bummer. In fact, I applied for 8 jobs today alone. Half are middle school math jobs, but it doesn't look like I have the right endorsements for those jobs. I think I need to get my math endorsement, but I don't know. We will have to see.

And, I am going to Colorado with my sister on Wednesday to pick up her son who is with our parents right now. This just adds a little more stress because I have to rearrange some stuff that is on my schedule. I hope I don't get called to do any interviews on those days or I am not going to be able to go. I hate playing this waiting game, but for whatever reason God wants me to wait for something to come up, and as hard as I try I can not get Him to tell me what is going on. I know He will take care of me, and of us as a family, but I am so ready to have a job so I know what is going on in August! But alas, I am just going to have to keep waiting.

Ok, I am sitting in a super messy office and an even messier desk, so I suppose I should get going. If you would say a prayer for me that I would be patient in listening for God's voice in all this, I would really appreciate it. I know it isn't the end of the world if I don't get a job in the fall because I know I will be able to sub, but that is definitely not my preference. *sigh*

Vacations and interviews

We got back from Lake Powell about a week ago and it was such an amazing vacation! There were 18 of us on a houseboat, not including Jordan. This houseboat was pretty fantastic and fancy, but it was still a lot of people in a relatively small space. Thankfully the spot we found to park at for the week had room for several tents on shore, so 6 people slept in tents. There were plenty of beds and enough room on the top of the boat for people to sleep. The guests included Jason and I, both our parents, my brothers, his sister, my aunt, uncle, 4 cousins + 1 exchange student, and my grandparents. Add Jordan and all we are missing is the partridge in the pear tree. It was super fun spending so much time with so many of my loved ones. We had plenty of food and drinks, a lovely fridge and freezer that allowed us to keep all our homemade meals fresh until we ate them. The water was a wonderful temperature and we could pretty much swim at any time, which was lovely. And I didn't even get sunburned! Between swimming, boating, and playing on the tubes/skis/boards/etc, I figure it was a pretty big deal that there was no sunburn. Unfortunately, pretty much everyone got sunburned, David so bad that his face blistered starting on day 4. Not good. And on top of that he lost his glasses going off the slide. He is as blind as a bat without them, so that made the game playing and lure tying pretty interesting. And, in the middle of all the chaos, I had a phone interview while on the water. Jason had to take me to the middle of the lake to get cell phone service that was strong enough for my interview. It was interesting and I feel like it went pretty well.

Turns out, it must have gone pretty well because the asked me to come in for a second interview. I had that interview today and I don't think it went quite as well. They asked me exactly the same questions as my first interview, although this time all of the questions were in Spanish, which means I had to answer them in Spanish. It was pretty difficult and I don't think this interview went quite as well. I thought it was going to be different, but nope. And I did all my prep work compiling my portfolio and everything for nothing, because they didn't even want to see it. I would really enjoy working at this school, and it sounds like a great place to work and a wonderful fit for me, but I don't know if they are going to be of the same opinion. I guess I am just going to have to wait and see!

Here are a few pictures from my vacation. It was so much fun and I can't wait to go back.

Broken Computer

That's right, my computer is broken. It gives me an error message every time I try to turn it on, and unfortunately we don't have the financial resources to get it fixed right now. That is mostly because we just bought a car, and we are going to Lake Powell for a week (which can be quite pricy once you add in food and gas purchases). There are just a couple of things I want to get off of my computer and then it can just go away (as I am using Jason's computer right now), but all of our pictures are on there and a couple of other things that I would like back. Who knows when it is going to be taken care of, but I guess I can handle it until then.

So recently I have been playing quite a bit of golf. I played several days ago, had a lesson yesterday, and played 18 today with my dad and brothers. I actually did pretty well, and I can tell I am getting better because the most I had on any one hole was 8 strokes, and usually I have at least one 10 in there somewhere. So it was a good day, even though I was really sore from my lesson yesterday.

I have found a new hobby- painting. I have painted a couple of pictures for my sister (usually just words and simple shapes), and now she wants me to teach her how to do it. We are going to make some paintings for Jordan and Shelby with their names and a verse on each one. They are going to be so cute! I wanted to do that for them for Christmas, but I didn't have time to get my act together. Really, I have only done two paintings, so I am still new at it, but it is fun and I can do it really quickly (like 2 days from start to finish). Speaking of, I have a quilt I promised to make a friend of mine that I have not finished yet. She says I don't have to worry about finishing it, they are in no rush to get it back, but I have had the stuff for 6 months and I haven't done it yet, what kind of friend am I?? Not a very good one, that's for sure. hopefully after Lake Powell I can get on it and finish it. We'll see what happens!

In reading a friend's recent blog post (the same friend I owe the blanket to, lol) I realized that Jason and I are coming up on our 4 year anniversary. I never thought I would be married for 4 years and not have a child. I just always thought it would happen sooner for us, but it hasn't. Not that we have been trying, I'm just saying. I know I am still relatively young to want kids, but in my mind I have always thought I would have children about 2 years after getting married. Now I am going to have to completely change my expectations, since we are double that right now. This is neither good nor bad, I've just been thinking about it.

Alrighty, gotta run. Have a fabulous Tuesday!

Frustration and spending

Gah, I'm so frustrated! So, Jason and I bought a car at the beginning of this month. We had to put down a big down payment because we didn't want the monthly payments to be over a certain amount. Then, yesterday and today, we start getting bills in the mail for medical and dental appointments that I went to at the end of May. Apparently insurance is not going to cover nearly as much as we thought it would and we not have to pay several hundred dollars to these different places for services that we thought were routine. For example, the insurance is not covering any part of my annual OB appointment. Those are practically required and are good for preventing any kind of illness, and yet they don't cover ANY of it!! And my dentist... I just had a bunch of cavities filled but the insurance is not covering as much of that as we thought they would because "the cavities are on the back teeth" and they don't cover the back teeth the same as the front teeth. This is ridiculous!! Thankfully I got my 5-in-1 check yesterday so we won't be terribly insufficiently funded, but I just wonder why we have insurance if they don't cover these simple, routine things. What is going to happen when I am pregnant? Are they going to cover any of it? It makes me want to scream.

Summer happenings

So far this summer has been pretty relaxing. I have played golf a couple of times, including this morning. I played awesome on Friday. I didn't play so well today, but it was still fun.

Another exciting thing that has happened recently is we bought a car! We don't own it yet, but supposedly it will be in tomorrow. I'm excited to get it asap. We kinda were thrown off guard when we went to test drive cars on Saturday and we were almost forced to buy one. Thankfully it was the one we wanted and were going to buy anyway, but they gave us a trade-in deal we couldn't refuse. They said the car wouldn't be in for 7-18 days, but when we called yesterday to get some clarification on some things and the sales manager told us it was already in route. I'm trying not to get my hopes up about it coming in today, but I can't help it.

Anyway, tomorrow is tutoring and hopefully getting my car, if it doesn't come in today. It's so flippin' hot today that I don't want to do anything. Blah, I guess I'll go take a shower. Have a great week and stay cool!

Decisions, decisions

Our lives are full of decisions right now! First of all, we are trying to decide when to have children. We want the timing to be right for us, but we also want to trust God to tell us when He wants us to have kids. It is really hard giving up that control, but we are at the point where we are just going to place our trust in Him and let Him lead us.

Another decision is getting another car. We have started looking at cars to replace our Tacoma. We don't really "need" a new car until we have children, but because we are such planners we are trying to figure out how what we want now. We will probably get a car sooner rather than later, simply because my truck is worth more now and it will help us pay for our new car. That makes it a little more complicated because we will need something that can pull our boat if we get it now, and if we wait until the end of the summer we won't have to get something that can pull the boat, but we will have to have another vehicle that CAN pull the boat at the beginning of next boating season. It is all very tricky. We also don't need a 4WD vehicle, because we don't do much off-roading or anything, but there are occasions, about once or twice a year, where we head up to the ski area in the snow, or drive up to the cabin in the snow, and it would be really nice to have 4 wheel drive at those times. This is a hard decision for us. We are looking between the Highlander and the Pilot right now, both 4x4 and both can pull our boat. Oh, another qualification is it has to hold Abby with no problem, which means we either have to get a 3rd row seat that can fold down, or a very large trunk area. Those two cars both have a 3rd row seat that folds down. It might be tricky taking Abby with much stuff, but we could make it work, especially before we have kids. We are only doing this because my truck will not hold a rear-facing car seat, and that is kinda important for when we have kids (obviously). But, considering I am not even pregnant, there is no rush. I don't know why this is eating at me so bad! Not to mention, the Tacoma was my dream car that I paid for outright when I was in high school and I have loved every minute of driving that truck. If it held a car seat we would not even consider getting a new one. Blah. I'll keep you posted.

On a positive note, I am going to be tutoring this summer. I will be tutoring two kids in both Spanish and Algebra, and a third kid in reading. The two that are doing Spanish and Algebra are doing it to get ahead for next year, so it will be fun to work with them and I think they will work really hard for me, even though I will be making them "do school" during the summer. The child who will be doing the reading is going to be a little more tricky. He is unable to attend school for medical reasons and it seems like the school doesn't really care, they just tell him to "come when he can" and that will be enough. Well, thankfully his mother really cares about his education and wants to see him reach his full potential, so she asked me to work with him. I am going to try a new program I have been trained in and I hope it helps him. I think it will, but it is going to be a matter of how much time I can spend with him each day and each week. I got enough materials to work with him for 20 lessons, an hour and a half each. I don't think we will get through that much, but I am going to try to work with him as much as possible. I hope it helps him! Luckily, this money that I am going to make while tutoring will be enough to cover our future car payment (that we have never had to make before because both the cars we own now are completely paid for). That is a good thing since I am not entirely sure I will have a job next year.

That brings me to another thing. I have to keep reminding myself that I will at least be able to sub next year, even if I don't have a job. Several of the subs at the school I was at this past year are going to be doing their student teaching in the fall, so that opens up some permanent sub positions at the school. I don't know if I would get hired there, but it is worth a shot, if I don't get a job somewhere else. What makes me a little more hopeful is that there are so many bilingual openings in Albuquerque, and even though I can't apply for them right now, I don't think they will all be filled by the time school is supposed to start in the fall, because none of them are going away when I check the website. I'm so glad God put it on my heart to get my bilingual certification, because without that my opportunities would be much more limited. I keep praying something comes my way and God would open those doors for me (and all the other teachers who have lost their job in this budget crisis).

Ok, enough of my rambling for now. I'll post more when some things happen. God bless our troops on this memorial day!

??????

How is it possible that in one school district, there are 3 job openings for teachers, and two of those are just for the summer? And in another school district, there are 45 elementary teacher jobs available, but completely unopen for the general public to apply to?? It is so frustrating!! There are several jobs that I want to apply for, but can't. Should I just send off my resume anyway? Should I wait and see what God has planned for me? Does God want me to keep trying as hard as possible? Or does He want me to just relax and let Him take care of most of the details? It is really confusing. I just don't know what to do.

Day 1 of summer

Ok, so this is really a post about the whole weekend, but today is officially the start of my summer break! And as exciting as it is, I got to have 4 cavities filled this morning... yippee! My whole lower face is numb and my jaw is killing me. Welcome to summer.

On Friday I had to say goodbye to the school I had worked at since January. It was pretty sad because I am going to miss everyone so much. I know God has a plan for me, and at the moment that plan does not include that school, but I am just going to miss everyone, especially the students. Apparently they are getting another teacher from another school to take my place, and that is only because of the budget crisis. I know the school would like to keep me if they could, but the budget is not going to allow that, unless something drastic happens in the district. Anyway, I know I will be missed and they know I will miss them. We will just have to see what happens.

Saturday all I did was clean the house. It was disgusting because we hadn't been home the last two weekends and it was in desperate need of a scrub-down. So I got that taken care of while Jason hooked up the A/C. We went to lunch with Jason's parents and went to an Isotopes baseball game with some friends that evening. It was fun, but we sat so far away that I couldn't see much of the game. It was a really high-scoring game, though, so that made it a little more fun, as far as baseball goes.

Sunday we went to church then ran some erands in town. We went and looked at cars! We are interested in getting an SUV and trading in our truck. We went to the Toyota dealership and looked at 4Runners and Highlanders. I thought I wanted a 4Runner, no question, but then I sat in a Highlander and I really liked it. We are still in the pre-planning stages of this adventure, but hopefully we can make a decision relatively soon so we know how to budget for this purchase. We are trying to decide if we need one that can pull the boat or if we will just get it after we are all done going to the lake for the year and then get a truck by the time we start going to the lake again next year. Who knows what we are going to do, but it is fun to think about getting a new car! After that we went and looked at plants at a nursery in town. We are working on landscaping right now and we wanted to see some of the plant options that are at the local nurseries. Finally we made dinner for our families- fajitas. It was nice having everyone over.

I am not looking forward to this week because Jason is going to be out of town from Tuesday through Friday. This will be his first business trip and it is going to be really good experience for him, but I don't enjoy being apart from him at all, much less for three nights. I told my family that I might be joining them for the evenings and just hanging out at my house when I have to, lol. I doubt that will be the case, but we will have to see how it goes.

Well, my face is still numb and I am hungry, so I will see if I can eat something without making too much of a mess. Have a fabulous day!

Closin' in on the end

Ok, I admit it, I'm a terrible blogger. I haven't been on in several weeks, my apologies. Really there is not a whole lot new in my life, at least that I can think of. School is out in 5 days. I can't believe I am already done with my first grownup job. Yep, I am officially not going to be at that school next year. I had thought that was going to be the case for a while now, but as of Friday it was pretty official. Unless something miraculous happens between now and August. I'm so thankful I have my bilingual certification, though, because without it I wouldn't have been able to get this job in the first place, and it is definitely an experience I am glad I had. I have learned so many things at this job that I will take with me wherever I go next year. I am going to miss the school terribly, they were like a family for me while I was there. They accepted me right away and I made some great friends that I hope I will continue to see regularly. This summer is going to be rough, though, because of the anticipation of having to wait for a phone call about a job in the district. I just have to have faith that God has me taken care of. I was skeptical about this job at first but it turned out to be a huge blessing, so it is easier to trust him now. I know that isn't the right attitude and I should trust him no matter what, but he helped my faith by doing this for me.

Jason and I went to the lake this weekend. We have gone a couple of times now and it is so nice to just get out on the water and relax. We had a big group of people this time as my whole family and Jason's parents went. It was fun, though, and other than our dog driving up bonkers with her whining (she always wants to be on whichever boat she is not on, or swimming...) it was super relaxing. I was even able to work on my tan a little because it was beautiful weather. We slept great, at least the second night, and now we know some of the kinks we need to work out of the boat before we go to Lake Powell in a month and a half. I'm REALLY looking forward to that trip.

I'm feeling kinda lonely here these days. It is hard not having friends here like I had in Lubbock that I could just call up whenever and go hang out. And the friends I have here live so far away it makes it even harder. It is really nice being so close to our families, but I feel like they are pretty much our only social network, except for the occasional dinner out with friends (once a month or so). What I really miss is going over to my best friend's house, playing video games or watching a movie, and just laughing the evening away. Oh what I wouldn't give to live closer to her. It would be extra nice to have some couple friends here, too, of which we have NONE. I don't even know how to go about making couple friends.... any ideas?? Our church is so huge that it is hard to get plugged into anything. The only class they have for young couples is a newlywed class, which we don't really fit into anymore (depending on your definition of newlywed). Plus it is on Friday night, and we do stuff on Friday nights a lot of times. It's just hard making a whole new set of friends. I'm thankful for the friends we have here, don't get me wrong, but I just miss the closeness that we had in Lubbock.

Our house is coming along, slowly but surely. We are working on landscaping right now, which is really exciting. The sprinkler lines are trenched and we have a plan for the back and the front yards. Our garden is coming along and I'm really looking forward to having fresh veggies! We have garlic, onions (hopefully), carrots, tomatoes (yellow and red), corn, green beans, zucchini, bell pepper, and green chile. So far they are all good, and we only killed the tomatoes once (a late freeze) but we replanted them. All the seeds we planted are sprouting (it's like watching children grow, lol, I get so excited when I see a little sprout sticking up through the dirt!) and the plants are thriving. It is going to be awesome when the veggies start growing.

Ok, I guess that is enough for one post. This weekend really got me thinking about how much I want children... but that can wait for another time. I will hopefully have more time to blog when school gets out, but no promises... We know how I am.

Looking forward

There are so many things I am looking forward to in the relatively near future-

1. Jordan's birthday party on Saturday. I can't believe he is 3 already... sheesh!
2. Going to the lake this weekend. It will be really nice to get away.
3. Lunch with some friends from high school, one I haven't seen in 2 years, one I haven't seen in 3.5 years.
4. Getting skinny. I have never really been overweight, and I've never been really in shape, but I want to get in really good shape for this summer's trip to Lake Powell. I have been running and going to Zumba, and I'm trying to make do something at least 4 days a week. It really is difficult with a life that you have to work around.
5. Getting to see my students on Monday. I have been at a workshop for the past three days and I thought I would really enjoy the break, but I really did miss the little toots. They always make my days so interesting and I feel like I am making a difference for them, but when I don't get to see them it makes me sad. Thankfully I will get to see them on Monday, even if we don't have class.
6. Getting a new computer! My computer is about to completely crash on me, it is just a matter of time. I either need a new one or to get mine completely cleaned up and repaired so that it runs more smoothly. It take it about 15 minutes just to start up. Yeah, that is ridiculous, I know. I have to think about starting my computer up 15 minutes before I actually need to use it. This is not an easy task, but I guess I am making due as it is.

And things I'm looking forward to in the slightly-further-away future-
1. Getting some grass in our backyard. I know it seems like a really little thing, but at this point it is a huge deal for us and the next thing we are going to spend money on for our house. I think Abby is looking forward to that, too.
2. Putting a new roof on our house. We have shingles now that fly off in the wind, and we are going to get a metal roof this summer. I'm ready for that to happen so we can start saving money for some other thing.
3. Going to Lake Powell for a week on a houseboat with our family. No explaination needed.
4. Starting a family. I'm not entirely sure when this is going to happen, but I have high hopes that is isn't too far away. I'll keep you posted on that when more decisions are made.
5. Getting a permanent (long term) job. I just found out this week that I don't have a job next year, at this point. I'm not worrying about it, but I just wish God would let me in on His plan so I could start making a plan around His plan. I know that isn't how it works, but I can dream, right?
6. Getting a new car. This is not going to happen until I am pregnant, whenever that happens to be, because the truck we have now will not fit an infant's carseat. I know, that is a really weird reason to need a new car, especially when you already own a truck, but that is just how it is. The back seat isn't big enough, and that is all there is to it. I don't want to get rid of my truck because I still love it, but if I can get a 4Runner or something (very similar to my Tacoma, which is probably why I want one) then it won't be a huge deal.
7. Really settling into our lives here. We still don't have friends here. Well, I have some friends at school, ladies that I work with, but we have only hung out once in the 2.5 months I have worked there. Jason has some friends from high school that live here that we hang out with some times. We just don't have any couple friends. My very bestest friend still lives in Lubbock, and I miss her tremendously. I think she and her husband should just move here once he is done with school, but she doesn't seem to think that is the best idea. Oh well, I will keep trying ;-)

So, apparently I have been thinking about the future a lot recently. It is hard to not try to plan out every single thing in my life, but I am trying to follow what God wants for us as I am planning. It is just my personality that I want to know what is coming before it gets here. Unfortunately, as anyone over the age of 5 knows, that is just life. However, listening and talking to God is really helping smooth things over in my mind. I am not stressing like I normally would. I have several positive influences around me that give me good, sound, spiritual advice and I'm so thankful God has put these people in my life so they can help me stay focused on Him.

Ok, enough for now. I'll let you know as I am able to cross things off the list!

so much change

Yeah, this is going to be a long one. I have had so much stuff happen in the last couple of weeks and I have not been very good about keeping this updated. Last week was state testing, and that is all we did. My students did great and it was really nice getting to work with students that I work with daily. It was also awesome seeing how hard they were trying and that they got the answers right that they did. I'm glad it is over though, but now I have to give more tests next week and I am really not looking forward to it. I have a training that I am going to for the next couple of days. It is really boring, honestly, and I am not enjoying it at all. But, supposedly it will make me more marketable in the future, so I am doing it.

Another interesting that I am doing is homebound teaching. There is a young student who is not able to attend school for medical reasons and I am working with him a couple of hours a week. Today was so enjoyable, it was so much fun. Is it possible to get paid to play with kids? I'm pretty sure I have the best job in the world. I'm so glad God placed teaching on my heart because I know He made me to do this.

Speaking of which, I found out today that I don't have a job next year at the school I am at right now. I knew it was a possibility, so it wasn't all that shocking, but now I don't have to worry. Our principal mentioned that there have to be 3-4 cuts at our school, and since I am short-term, I am the first to go. People keep telling me about how much can change over the summer, and I am trying to keep that in mind. Like I said, I am not terribly worried because I know God has a plan for all this. I just have to keep my ears and my heart open to what He tells me. I would appreciate all the prayers you could manage. Thank you in advance!

On a happier (maybe) note, my nephew turned 3 years old yesterday!! I simply can't believe that he is already three. He is amazing, smart, funny, and adorable, and I love every moment I get to spend with him. We are going to his birthday party on Saturday with a bunch of family so that is going to be fun. We got him an adorable present that I hope he loves.

My brothers are doing well. I take David to school in the mornings. He is taking a special ed biology class and a regular ed photography class at the high school right next to my school. He really enjoys going to school, mostly because it gives him a break from my parents and his brother I think. He likes it, though, and that is what matters. He has also started seeing a psychologist. It is too soon to tell if it is doing any good, but hopefully it is making a difference for him and will help him sort through some things. Nothing much is new with Sam, other than he has been diagnosed as mentally retarded. This shocked me because he is so socially capable. My mom said, "yeah, but you have never been in the same school room as him." Which is a completely true statement. I'm still not sure it is an accurate diagnosis, but I guess it makes sense to my mom. Anyway, he isn't going to school in the mornings yet, just twice a week in the afternoons. I guess that is the update for the boys!

Ok, enough for one post. Take care and God bless!

ZUMBA!!!

Yes, that's right, I am now part of the Zumba nation. I took my first class today from some Zumba guru from Las Cruces. It was outside, there were about 50 people there, and it lasted for an hour and a half, or slightly more. It was so fun! A lot of the moves are Latin dance movies, for those of you who are unaware. Many of them are a little risque, but you get an amazing workout. I have been home for an hour and a half and I am already starting to feel sore. I want to start going to other classes throughout the week, although I am not entirely sure when I will have time, or energy, to go. Luckily, it doesn't feel like working out, really. And, I heard a rumor, that if you do every move with high intensity, you can burn 800 calories in an hour. Average is about 500 calories per hour. Not bad if you ask me!

Jason, his dad, his friend, and another guy all went fishing up near Jason's parents' cabin today. Jason's mom went, too, but I don't think she is going to be doing any fishing. I think there is still a bunch of snow up there, so I'm glad I didn't go. I'd rather hang out here, where it is 80 degrees, and dance the day away :-)

Not sure if we are going to church tonight or not, but I need to go get ready just in case we are. Hopefully I can find some time this weekend to start working on a quilt for some friends of mine who hired me in December... They told me not to rush, so I'm not, lol. I need to get working on it or they are going to think it is never gonna get done. I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend! God bless.