It hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday that we are moving home in a month and a half, and then we are going to St. Lucia in 2 months... yikes! These are two huge things! Moving home is something I haven't truly thought a lot about because it has felt so far away for so long that it didn't seem real. Well all of a sudden it is VERY real. We are hoping Jason will hear back from a job he applied for this week, and that would just be the icing on the cake. We don't necessarily have a plan for when we move back, but we are for sure moving the week after May 16 some time.
And as for going to St. Lucia... I have been working out all semester to try to get in shape, mostly because I need to work out (it isn't about a number, necessarily) and get back to being healthy. Well I have lost a total of 22 lbs. so far, since the summer basically, and have dropped to a size 9, which I haven't been since early in high school. I still do not feel all that comfortable in my own body, though, and if I am expected to wear a swimsuit in 2 months I really need to try to get into the best shape possible so I am not uncomfortable. I didn't work out at all during spring break, unless you count 2 days of snowboarding, and I only worked out twice last week instead of my usual 5 times. Needless to say I was very motivated this morning when the alarm went off at 7am. My mom asked me when I was going to stop trying to lose weight, and I figure there will be a point at which my weight will just level out and I will reach a good balance (my body will not have "extra stuff" to work off any more) and that is the point at where I will "stop." But I am going to let my body decide that. I don't have a number that I am going for, because I don't have any concept what a number looks like on me... plus I am losing weight in weird places, like my back and my hands. Hopefully I will be able to stay motivated so I can have fun in St. Lucia without being overly self-consious (and so Jason can be proud to have me by his side).
Sorry for the rant, I just had to let it all out this morning because of all I was thinking about last night. And just so you know, I have had to hide the scale from myself and only weigh myself once a week because I was compulsively weighing myself when I went into the bathroom during the day, any time I went in there. I decided that was not the way to go about losing weight and getting healthy, so I just weigh myself once a week and I don't worry about it between times, other than working out of course. I do not count calories, but I do try to make smarter choices with what I eat- like only having 2 Girl Scout cookies instead of the whole box after dinner, or having a sandwich instead of eating pudding for lunch, things like that, haha. Eating out can be a challenge, but some of the healthier things are just fine... not as good as the fat-filled, calorie-filled options I used to order, but still good. It is all about healthy choices for me, including forcing myself to drink 2 bottles of water each day (yucky).
Ok, really, that will be it. Again, I apologize for the rant, I just hade to get it all down. Have a spectacular week!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Humility
Today we learned about humility in church... it was pretty much right on. The passage was Luke 18:9-14, the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector. These two men go into the temple to pray. The Pharisee thanks God that he is not like the rest of the sinners, that he is not like the tax collector who is standing next to him. The tax collector is showing knows he is so unworthy of being in God's presentce that he never looks up, he beats his chest out of shame, and he sits as far away from the throne as possible. God says those that are humble are righteous. It was an interesting sermon, mostly because I generally think of myself as a pretty humble person. Obviously I have moments where I take credit, but I try really hard not to. The pastor mentioned that when we are being "humble" we are really fishing for compliments... which I know I am guilty of sometimes. But he put true humility in perspective for me, and pointed out what it says about it through other passages in the Bible. It was a great lesson and now I know of some things I should work on. Then, in the nursery, we just had 7 babies and they were all really nice for the most part. Plus it was fun to see my bestest nursery friend, whom I haven't seen but like 3 times all semester. It was nice to catch up with her.
Then, after church, we went to eat at Dion's, my favorite pizza place, with our Sunday school class. It is so nice to see them because I never get to during class time (I am always with the babies). We had a really good time, though.
I tried to call my parents to see what they were up to today but I couldn't get ahold of them. Who knows what they are up to. I wanted to ask them what happened between my cousin and his girlfriend of 7+ years. They just broke up and he moved out, leaving his girlfriend and their two daughters (5 and 2) in their house, for some reason. I don't knwo what happened but this is probably a rough time for them because I know my cousin loves his girls so much and it will not be easy for him to be apart from them. If you could pray for them that would be awesome. Mostly that they would come to Christ, but also that the girls won't be wrecked because of this and that they can work something out so the girls can still see their dad. This was a pretty big shock to us.
Ok, on to homework. Hopefully this week is as good as last week was, but that might be kinda hard to do because this week was so good. I am really looking forward to going home again, but that won't happen until Easter weekend (to celebrate Jordan's birthday, yay!) But I have to get through a couple more weeks before that will happen.
Also, real quick- my cousin who has cancer just had her 2nd round of chemo and is doing remarkably better than last time, at least so far, so that is an amazing praise report. I don't know many details, but she is a fantastic young woman and is staying as strong as possible through all this. I hope God uses this to bring her back to Him, and soon. We love her so much, and just want her to get better as quickly as possible. Love you, Aly!
Then, after church, we went to eat at Dion's, my favorite pizza place, with our Sunday school class. It is so nice to see them because I never get to during class time (I am always with the babies). We had a really good time, though.
I tried to call my parents to see what they were up to today but I couldn't get ahold of them. Who knows what they are up to. I wanted to ask them what happened between my cousin and his girlfriend of 7+ years. They just broke up and he moved out, leaving his girlfriend and their two daughters (5 and 2) in their house, for some reason. I don't knwo what happened but this is probably a rough time for them because I know my cousin loves his girls so much and it will not be easy for him to be apart from them. If you could pray for them that would be awesome. Mostly that they would come to Christ, but also that the girls won't be wrecked because of this and that they can work something out so the girls can still see their dad. This was a pretty big shock to us.
Ok, on to homework. Hopefully this week is as good as last week was, but that might be kinda hard to do because this week was so good. I am really looking forward to going home again, but that won't happen until Easter weekend (to celebrate Jordan's birthday, yay!) But I have to get through a couple more weeks before that will happen.
Also, real quick- my cousin who has cancer just had her 2nd round of chemo and is doing remarkably better than last time, at least so far, so that is an amazing praise report. I don't know many details, but she is a fantastic young woman and is staying as strong as possible through all this. I hope God uses this to bring her back to Him, and soon. We love her so much, and just want her to get better as quickly as possible. Love you, Aly!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Nice and calm
What a good couple of days I have had! This week was so much fun in the classroom because I am finally getting to know the kids in my teacher's homeroom class. I will not be with them much next week, but at least I know some names now! Then yesterday I got a lot done on my honors research project which I have been dreading working on because I know how much work it is going to be (and I only have a month to finish it!). Today I worked on my essay exam that is due on Monday and I finished my math lesson plan, which I am pretty excited to teach. Should be interesting. Jason and I went to the store today, which I hate doing, but it was pretty quick and painless because there were no slow people there, haha. Oh, that was after a visit from the Mormon missionaries (the third set). So, all in all today was a good day.
So, I have decided I pretty much have the best parents in the world. I had to go to the emergency room in February for a stomach illness I got. Well we got the bill a couple of weeks ago and I asked my parents if they would mind helping us out paying the bill. They are basically paying all of it! What an incredible blessing! I only have to pay 20% of the original cost of the bill and we were going to have to do something pretty significant if we were going to be able to pay it. My parents are awesome, though, and show me amazing amounts of kindness and love every day. I am so blessed to have them. Not only that, but they unconditionally love and support my other siblings. They work every day to teach my brothers and every day to try to teach my sister as well. I hope they know how much they are appreciated.
Off to cook dinner and get the house organized. I get to see babies tomorrow and work with my best nursery friend! I love church days.
So, I have decided I pretty much have the best parents in the world. I had to go to the emergency room in February for a stomach illness I got. Well we got the bill a couple of weeks ago and I asked my parents if they would mind helping us out paying the bill. They are basically paying all of it! What an incredible blessing! I only have to pay 20% of the original cost of the bill and we were going to have to do something pretty significant if we were going to be able to pay it. My parents are awesome, though, and show me amazing amounts of kindness and love every day. I am so blessed to have them. Not only that, but they unconditionally love and support my other siblings. They work every day to teach my brothers and every day to try to teach my sister as well. I hope they know how much they are appreciated.
Off to cook dinner and get the house organized. I get to see babies tomorrow and work with my best nursery friend! I love church days.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Happy 20th!
Today is my sister's 20th birthday! I absolutely can't believe it. She has one baby and another on the way, just started school, and is finally 20. She wants so badly to grow up but doesn't always know the best way to go about it. She started school yesterday, though, and is loving it, even though she said she has a TON of homework already. It is a lot, but it probably seems like more to someone who is not used to a normal load of homework. I am praying she stays in school and gets this degree (CNA) so she can get a better job and start making a better life for her and her babies. She is still trying to figure out where she stands with her baby's dad, but that is not really my business, so I don't ask about it. I hope that she continues to do well and that she finishes school strongly!
Today was a pretty good day for me. I didn't work out this morning, which was a bummer, but I had a huge test this afternoon that I had to study for. It was ~150 vocabulary words and definitions for my Spanish class. I forgot all my notes in LBK over spring break, so I couldn't even look over it while on vacation, that was really stressful when I got back. But thankfully I didn't have to babysit last night (the baby was sick )-: ) so I was able to study some then. I also had to do an "informational text read-aloud" today which I had to plan for last night. That was kinda fun to do today and I am really glad I am starting to get my lessons out of the way. I am really looking forward to watching the math teacher next week, but I have been having fun in the two classes I have been in so far (writing and reading). It is really interesting being with the same teacher and the same kids every day, I am learning so much. But the rest of this week I am going to just observe the reading teacher and I don't really have anything else to do other than an essay exam for Monday. Oh, and I think my test went really well this evening, so all that studying paid off! Hopefully tomorrow is fun with my bilingual class in the morning.
Today was a pretty good day for me. I didn't work out this morning, which was a bummer, but I had a huge test this afternoon that I had to study for. It was ~150 vocabulary words and definitions for my Spanish class. I forgot all my notes in LBK over spring break, so I couldn't even look over it while on vacation, that was really stressful when I got back. But thankfully I didn't have to babysit last night (the baby was sick )-: ) so I was able to study some then. I also had to do an "informational text read-aloud" today which I had to plan for last night. That was kinda fun to do today and I am really glad I am starting to get my lessons out of the way. I am really looking forward to watching the math teacher next week, but I have been having fun in the two classes I have been in so far (writing and reading). It is really interesting being with the same teacher and the same kids every day, I am learning so much. But the rest of this week I am going to just observe the reading teacher and I don't really have anything else to do other than an essay exam for Monday. Oh, and I think my test went really well this evening, so all that studying paid off! Hopefully tomorrow is fun with my bilingual class in the morning.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Good place
Well, today was a pretty good day. Jason helped me in the nursery today, which was really nice, because I wouldn't have had any help otherwise. There was a really fussy baby this morning but the supervisor took care of him, thankfully, so we didn't have to worry about that for too long. After that we went to lunch with our sunday school teachers and their family. It was really nice to get to talk to them and catch up after spring break. When we came home I was able to get some quilting done, yay! I cut out ALL the pieces for the quilt I am working on next (t-shirt blanket) and I finally have the right tools so it was SO MUCH FASTER than the last one I tried to make. It is going to be pretty quick, I think. Yay! And it is a good thing because we need to do something to make a little money, since Jason is still having a hard time even finding jobs to apply for, much less ones that might be a good fit or ones he wants. He just mentioned that we are not going to be able to get a house as soon as we wanted to, or so he thinks. I don't really know what that means, but I am assuming it means we are going to have to rent somewhere for a few years, which we really did not want to do. That is going to be a bummer because we are ready to be in a house that feels like a home, but realistically that is not going to happen for a few years, it sounds like. How unfortunate...
On a positive note, I am finally completely content knowing that I will not have kids for a while. I went through a phase during the summer where I wanted to have a child the second I graduated. Then, a lot of people I know got pregnant (most of them were not trying to get pregnant...) and I kinda felt left out. I also thought I deserved to have a kid more than most of these other people who are either not married, got pregnant before they were married, or were not planning to have kids for many years but accidentaly got pregnant. Plus, I was working in the nursery at church and was surrounded by amazing babies during Sunday mornings. All of this added to be a "baby fever" producing mixture. But, I started to realize that I want to work for a while before we have kids, so I have at least some experience before I quit working to raise a family. I also would like to do a little more travelling (mostly to Peru again) and having a baby kinda prohibits that, at least for a while. So, in a nut shell, I am much more comfortable with not having kids for a while, which is a good feeling because I am not worrying about it nearly as much as I used to. I just hope I can keep this feeling so I can be a good aunt to Jordan and this new baby who will hopefully be here in mid-late October, if my sister doesn't miscarry (there is a 50% chance of that, and I don't know why, she didn't ask for the details). All babies are miracles and I want to get to know this one, too, just like I know Jordan.
Tomorrow it is off to the elementary school again, so that will be fun! I am going to start teaching my lessons very soon and I am really excited about how much I am going to learn during that process. Hopefully I can pick up some good techniques and learn all I can during these last 4 weeks.
On a positive note, I am finally completely content knowing that I will not have kids for a while. I went through a phase during the summer where I wanted to have a child the second I graduated. Then, a lot of people I know got pregnant (most of them were not trying to get pregnant...) and I kinda felt left out. I also thought I deserved to have a kid more than most of these other people who are either not married, got pregnant before they were married, or were not planning to have kids for many years but accidentaly got pregnant. Plus, I was working in the nursery at church and was surrounded by amazing babies during Sunday mornings. All of this added to be a "baby fever" producing mixture. But, I started to realize that I want to work for a while before we have kids, so I have at least some experience before I quit working to raise a family. I also would like to do a little more travelling (mostly to Peru again) and having a baby kinda prohibits that, at least for a while. So, in a nut shell, I am much more comfortable with not having kids for a while, which is a good feeling because I am not worrying about it nearly as much as I used to. I just hope I can keep this feeling so I can be a good aunt to Jordan and this new baby who will hopefully be here in mid-late October, if my sister doesn't miscarry (there is a 50% chance of that, and I don't know why, she didn't ask for the details). All babies are miracles and I want to get to know this one, too, just like I know Jordan.
Tomorrow it is off to the elementary school again, so that will be fun! I am going to start teaching my lessons very soon and I am really excited about how much I am going to learn during that process. Hopefully I can pick up some good techniques and learn all I can during these last 4 weeks.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Spring Break!
Aah, spring break. There is no better week in the spring. We started the week by going to a beautiful wedding in Levelland, TX for a couple who will live 6 houses down from us as soon as they get back from their honeymoon. Then on Sunday we drove to NM to drop off the dog with Jason's parents. Monday we drove up to Taos, NM, and met a couple of friends there. We skied, ate, and slept for three days. The snow was mediocre both days, it was really crowded on Tuesday but not so much on Wednesday. Jason is a fantastic snowboarder, so it was hard following him down the mountain knowing I would be sore and I will not be as fast as him for a long time. I decided I need a new board though, mine is many inches too long for my height. But we had a great time (other than not sleeping well) with our friends. Now we are back at home and just spending time with family.
Jason worked on our boat today for a while (and still is, actually), I washed my sister's car and played with my nephew for a while. My sister spent the morning at the hospital because she was bleeding. I am sure she was really scared. She had an ultrasound and the doctor says the baby is doing fine but she has a cyst on her ovary and there is something wrong with her uterous (she didn't ask for details) that is causing her to have a 50% of a miscarriage. She is supposed to take it REALLY EASY for the next couple of days, but that is not going to be all that easy considering she has a 2 year old running around. She is supposed to start CNA school on Monday, so hopefully she is feeling well enough by then to go, because missing the first day probably would not be a great way to start the semester.
We are all trying to figure out if we are going to be able to make it to Lake Powell this summer or not. I want to take a sign language class at UNM this summer but we are not going to be able to go to Lake Powell if I end up taking it. Not to mention Jason doesn't have a job yet so he doesn't know if he will be able to take a week off before he even starts. We are trying to figure it out but it is not all that easy. I guess we are just going to have to wait and see!
Ok, gotta go help with the baby. I am not looking forward to going back to school any time soon, but it will be here on Monday whether I am ready or not. At least I get to wear my new clothes! Please keep my sister in your prayers, as well as my grandma who started chemo yesterday for breast cancer. I will write more when I have time!
Jason worked on our boat today for a while (and still is, actually), I washed my sister's car and played with my nephew for a while. My sister spent the morning at the hospital because she was bleeding. I am sure she was really scared. She had an ultrasound and the doctor says the baby is doing fine but she has a cyst on her ovary and there is something wrong with her uterous (she didn't ask for details) that is causing her to have a 50% of a miscarriage. She is supposed to take it REALLY EASY for the next couple of days, but that is not going to be all that easy considering she has a 2 year old running around. She is supposed to start CNA school on Monday, so hopefully she is feeling well enough by then to go, because missing the first day probably would not be a great way to start the semester.
We are all trying to figure out if we are going to be able to make it to Lake Powell this summer or not. I want to take a sign language class at UNM this summer but we are not going to be able to go to Lake Powell if I end up taking it. Not to mention Jason doesn't have a job yet so he doesn't know if he will be able to take a week off before he even starts. We are trying to figure it out but it is not all that easy. I guess we are just going to have to wait and see!
Ok, gotta go help with the baby. I am not looking forward to going back to school any time soon, but it will be here on Monday whether I am ready or not. At least I get to wear my new clothes! Please keep my sister in your prayers, as well as my grandma who started chemo yesterday for breast cancer. I will write more when I have time!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Amazing day
Today was such a good day! I got to spend the morning shopping with my mom and sister (who is due October 20th, officially) for teacher clothes. Then went to lunch with the whole family, then back to shopping and running errands with mom. In the evening we all went out to eat at Texas Roadhouse then went swimming for like 20 minutes, even though it was snowing outside! (Indoor pool) Then we got to hang out with the family for 2 more hours and now I am home, about ready to go to bed. It was a really good day, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I am really ready for spring break and to get to go skiing with friends in Taos. First I am going to get a manicure and a pedicure, I am helping in a wedding tomorrow (I am in charge of the guest book). I finally turned in my science unit, so that is nice to be done with. Sunday we are headed home and Monday we meet our friends in Taos! It is going to be so much fun.
Ok, gotta go to bed. Tomorrow should be a good day, except for having to do laundry.
I am really ready for spring break and to get to go skiing with friends in Taos. First I am going to get a manicure and a pedicure, I am helping in a wedding tomorrow (I am in charge of the guest book). I finally turned in my science unit, so that is nice to be done with. Sunday we are headed home and Monday we meet our friends in Taos! It is going to be so much fun.
Ok, gotta go to bed. Tomorrow should be a good day, except for having to do laundry.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Thoughts
I don't know if God is testing me or what, but I have not had a very good day today. Ok, maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration, but the day started off with my feelings getting hurt, so that makes the rest of the day kinda rough. In all my classes I am kinda the go-to-girl whenever anyone has a question about assignments or class in general. Well I thought we were all pretty good friends in our classes, but I guess I was misled. I found out that like 9 girls, including my two best friends, went out this weekend and I wasn't invited. Now, they went to a bar, and if I was invited I probably would not have gone because that is not really my thing, but they didn't even invite me! Am I reading too much into this and taking it too personally? Did they know I would not come even though I said I would like to do stuff with them? Do they not want to hang out with me outside of school? Are they just "friends" with me so I will help them with school? I guess it just really hurt because I thought we were friends and then I didn't even get an invitation. I had to invite myself to the last thing we did. Maybe this is God's way of helping me cut the ties before I move home, but that just leaves me alone for the next two months. I don't know, I guess I am just going to have to pray about it...
On the positive side I have a great field-experience teacher that I am really going to enjoy working with! I like 4th graders so far! My teacher is hillarious and reminds me of my Aunt T. She jokes with the kids and makes them really think before she gives them any answers. I am in a writing class, so I will go to that one for a week, then math for a week and so on until I have seen all the classes. Should make teaching my lessons a lot easier! Anyway, I am looking forward to learning a lot and seeing more what it is like to be in a classroom for more than 3 days.
On the positive side I have a great field-experience teacher that I am really going to enjoy working with! I like 4th graders so far! My teacher is hillarious and reminds me of my Aunt T. She jokes with the kids and makes them really think before she gives them any answers. I am in a writing class, so I will go to that one for a week, then math for a week and so on until I have seen all the classes. Should make teaching my lessons a lot easier! Anyway, I am looking forward to learning a lot and seeing more what it is like to be in a classroom for more than 3 days.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Listen to me, I am trying to teach you something!
Oh my goodness, God has spoken to me so much these last couple of days... I just need to write everything down to try to process all of it. He keeps saying, "Listen to me, I am trying to teach you something!"
This morning, before church, I got a really encouraging email from someone I haven't talked to in years. The author said she will pray for my family and all the things going on. I can't even tell you how much that means to me, that she would care about these complete strangers. And on top of that, it reminded me that I need to keep my word when I say I will pray for someone. I generally do, but sometimes I forget (if I am being honest) and then feel really guilty the next time I see the person. God was just telling me to go to Him in prayer whenever I can and keep my promises to pray for those who I tell I will pray for.
In church we talked about prayer, too. (Do you see why I think God is speaking to me?) The point was that we should go to Him in prayer for EVERYTHING, ALWAYS. The passage was Luke 18:1-8 and it told the parable of a widow who kept going to see a judge and he finally got so fed up with seeing her that he granted her what she wanted. The point was that if this judge, "who didn't care for God or man," would grant this woman justice, how much more quickly will God, who loves us and cares for us so much? A lot of people get frustrated and give up on God and prayer because they don't think it "works" the way they want it to or expect it to. Prayer does not change God... it changes us and helps us to think more like God and better understand His purpose. Prayer keeps hope alive. Prayer gives us somewhere to go when there is nowhere else to turn (not that it should be a last resort, but it is the only resort). And we should pray because God cares! He wants to grow closer to us and He wants us to seek Him with everything we have. This message really spoke to me because I have not been very good about praying about all the things that are going on in my life. I pray about it every once in a while and then I get discouraged because nothing is changing. I have realized it is about God's timing, NOT MINE! Just because my prayers won't change God's mind does not mean that I should stop praying, and I realize that now.
Earlier this week I was thinking about some of those verses I grew up memorizing, and I realized they are really important, especially right now. I'll give you a couple of examples:
Romans 8:28- And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Seeing what my cousin and her family are going through with this cancer monster is really putting things into perspective for me, but seeing how they are handling this has really made me see that good can come from this. My cousin may accept Christ through all this when she realizes it is His mercy that allowed the doctors to find the answer so quickly and that there are all these people who care about her. Also, my sister's situation... what good can come from that? Well when I think about the nephew I already have I get so happy and overjoyed with the idea of getting to spend time with him and see him grow up. I didn't think there was anything good that could have come out of the last situation but it did, and he is almost two. I have to keep that in mind when I wonder how things can possibly be "good" now that she is going to have a second child, on her own. There is a reason people say, "God only knows."
Matthes 6:34- So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Jason still doesn't have a job, and time is running short because we are for sure moving in May. He doesn't even have a prospective job because everywhere is in the middle of a hiring freeze back home. It is so frustrating, especially for him, because he wants us to be able to buy a house and be completely self-sufficient, but at the moment that is not possible. I know we will have a place to live (maybe with his parents, but at least it is a roof over our head) and we will be surrounded by family, which is where we need to be, so I am not terribly worried about it. I am worried, however, that I am going to be a terrible teacher because I do not know enough Spanish to speak it all day long to a group of 25 kids... I am trying really hard to trust that God is going to give me the knowledge to do that since He called me to this profession, but I keep thinking there is more I should be doing. Again, I have to keep praying about it!
So there you go. That is how God has been speaking to me recently. Actually, He has basically slapped me in the face with everything because apparently I am dense. I have to keep my ears and heart open to Him because I want to live like He wants me to live. I need to have Him in the forefront of my mind at all times, and continually talk to Him. Please pray that I would be able to do that!
This morning, before church, I got a really encouraging email from someone I haven't talked to in years. The author said she will pray for my family and all the things going on. I can't even tell you how much that means to me, that she would care about these complete strangers. And on top of that, it reminded me that I need to keep my word when I say I will pray for someone. I generally do, but sometimes I forget (if I am being honest) and then feel really guilty the next time I see the person. God was just telling me to go to Him in prayer whenever I can and keep my promises to pray for those who I tell I will pray for.
In church we talked about prayer, too. (Do you see why I think God is speaking to me?) The point was that we should go to Him in prayer for EVERYTHING, ALWAYS. The passage was Luke 18:1-8 and it told the parable of a widow who kept going to see a judge and he finally got so fed up with seeing her that he granted her what she wanted. The point was that if this judge, "who didn't care for God or man," would grant this woman justice, how much more quickly will God, who loves us and cares for us so much? A lot of people get frustrated and give up on God and prayer because they don't think it "works" the way they want it to or expect it to. Prayer does not change God... it changes us and helps us to think more like God and better understand His purpose. Prayer keeps hope alive. Prayer gives us somewhere to go when there is nowhere else to turn (not that it should be a last resort, but it is the only resort). And we should pray because God cares! He wants to grow closer to us and He wants us to seek Him with everything we have. This message really spoke to me because I have not been very good about praying about all the things that are going on in my life. I pray about it every once in a while and then I get discouraged because nothing is changing. I have realized it is about God's timing, NOT MINE! Just because my prayers won't change God's mind does not mean that I should stop praying, and I realize that now.
Earlier this week I was thinking about some of those verses I grew up memorizing, and I realized they are really important, especially right now. I'll give you a couple of examples:
Romans 8:28- And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Seeing what my cousin and her family are going through with this cancer monster is really putting things into perspective for me, but seeing how they are handling this has really made me see that good can come from this. My cousin may accept Christ through all this when she realizes it is His mercy that allowed the doctors to find the answer so quickly and that there are all these people who care about her. Also, my sister's situation... what good can come from that? Well when I think about the nephew I already have I get so happy and overjoyed with the idea of getting to spend time with him and see him grow up. I didn't think there was anything good that could have come out of the last situation but it did, and he is almost two. I have to keep that in mind when I wonder how things can possibly be "good" now that she is going to have a second child, on her own. There is a reason people say, "God only knows."
Matthes 6:34- So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Jason still doesn't have a job, and time is running short because we are for sure moving in May. He doesn't even have a prospective job because everywhere is in the middle of a hiring freeze back home. It is so frustrating, especially for him, because he wants us to be able to buy a house and be completely self-sufficient, but at the moment that is not possible. I know we will have a place to live (maybe with his parents, but at least it is a roof over our head) and we will be surrounded by family, which is where we need to be, so I am not terribly worried about it. I am worried, however, that I am going to be a terrible teacher because I do not know enough Spanish to speak it all day long to a group of 25 kids... I am trying really hard to trust that God is going to give me the knowledge to do that since He called me to this profession, but I keep thinking there is more I should be doing. Again, I have to keep praying about it!
So there you go. That is how God has been speaking to me recently. Actually, He has basically slapped me in the face with everything because apparently I am dense. I have to keep my ears and heart open to Him because I want to live like He wants me to live. I need to have Him in the forefront of my mind at all times, and continually talk to Him. Please pray that I would be able to do that!
Saturday, March 7, 2009
One down, many to go
I just finished a quilting project I started in January, finally! You can see it on my other blog if you are interested.
Today was a great day! I got so much accomplished, it was great. I finished that quilt yesterday, then did a bunch of homework today, lovely! I won't have to do anything tomorrow if I don't want to. It is a really nice feeling. Well, nothing else new, just wanted to say YAY!!! for me getting that quilt done yesterday. Next is a t-shirt blanket, then finishing a blanket for my cousin, then a bench top for my mom, and finally placemats for my mom. Sheesh! When am I going to have time to do any of this? Maybe this summer...
Today was a great day! I got so much accomplished, it was great. I finished that quilt yesterday, then did a bunch of homework today, lovely! I won't have to do anything tomorrow if I don't want to. It is a really nice feeling. Well, nothing else new, just wanted to say YAY!!! for me getting that quilt done yesterday. Next is a t-shirt blanket, then finishing a blanket for my cousin, then a bench top for my mom, and finally placemats for my mom. Sheesh! When am I going to have time to do any of this? Maybe this summer...
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Few days
Well, today was the last day of class before going into the elementary school! I will be in the school for the next 5 weeks of school. I am really excited about it because I think I am going to learn a LOT. I have to teach 4 lessons and do a few other things while I am there, so it will be more than just observing, but still fun and instructional. So, other than the wind, today was a great day!
I am having a hard time, again, with my sister's situation. She resigned from her job yesterday (semi-forcefully) and is not making any progress in her relationship with her boyfriend. She is starting to stand up for herself which is really good, but I am afraid he still has some power over her, especially because she is carrying his child. I just hope she is able to stay strong and do what is best for her. We will see what her actual due date is on the 12th of this month, and you can bet I will be waiting for that phone call!
Well, other than being really busy with school stuff my life is pretty boring. My cousin just found out she has Hodgkin's Lymphoma but is doing really well so far. She will start chemo this week and hopefully go back home this weekend. She got to dye her hair cherry red, how fun! She is amazing and I know all the prayers are really helpful for her and her family.
OK, gotta go get ready for the fun Arbonne party that we are having for girls night tonight! If something interesting happens, I will be sure to blog about it.
I am having a hard time, again, with my sister's situation. She resigned from her job yesterday (semi-forcefully) and is not making any progress in her relationship with her boyfriend. She is starting to stand up for herself which is really good, but I am afraid he still has some power over her, especially because she is carrying his child. I just hope she is able to stay strong and do what is best for her. We will see what her actual due date is on the 12th of this month, and you can bet I will be waiting for that phone call!
Well, other than being really busy with school stuff my life is pretty boring. My cousin just found out she has Hodgkin's Lymphoma but is doing really well so far. She will start chemo this week and hopefully go back home this weekend. She got to dye her hair cherry red, how fun! She is amazing and I know all the prayers are really helpful for her and her family.
OK, gotta go get ready for the fun Arbonne party that we are having for girls night tonight! If something interesting happens, I will be sure to blog about it.
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