Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Free at last!

I am finally done with school! I have one semester left in school for the rest of my life! These last two weeks have been torture, but now that it is over I can finally relax, though I don't exactly feel like it yet. I have plenty of books to read, quilts to make, and housework to do, not to mention getting my tan going before going to St. Lucia and getting in shape, but I don't really feel like doing ANYTHING for the next couple of days. That will probably get old by the end of tomorrow, but for right now it is working for me.

We went to dinner tonight with some awesome friends, and we had so much fun! I don't know why we haven't gome to dinner with them before, it seems so logical now, but we didn't think about it in time. And of course, both couples are moving to their respective hometowns this summer, so we won't be able to hang out with them much more. In fact, that seems to be the story with most of our friends. Many of my friends from class are moving this summer, Jason's friend is moving this summer. I guess that is the story of a college town, though... And of course, we are moving too. I will be coming back to Lubbock in August, but it doesn't really feel like there is going to be anyone here for me to hang out with anymore! That isn't really the case, just what it feels like. Just another thing to think about...

My sister had a rough day today... She was bleeding this morning so went to the E.R. again to have an ultrasound done. This is the third or fourth time it has happened, so of course she is nervous each time. She is only 16 weeks, too, so that means she is probably going to have to deal with this throughout the next several weeks. And now, after being in class for these last few weeks, she is told she can't get certified because she missed her practical today. Her teacher is giving her some nonesense that she can't make up the practical tomorrow, even though she is taking her other class to the same place tomorrow to do their practical. My mom even went with my sister to talk to the person in charge of the program and they said "no" too. I feel so bad for her because she put in so much work to make it through this, and now she is told she can't take the test because she will be 8 hours short in doing her practicals. She is mostly frustrated because her job that she had before starting school was EXACTLY the same as the practicals, so she has plenty of practice, but nobody thinks that counts. Poor thing, I kinda know what she is going through, only she doesn't have the same good outcomes I usually do when confronted with these situations. I just hope she doesn't give up with this career path and will do the rest of her practicals when the teacher allows her in August. What a bummer.

And p.s. She is having a girl. I have mixed emotions about this. On the one hand, I am excited about having a niece. On the other hand, I wanted to have the first something... and now she is having the first boy and girl... ugh. And, on the third hand (is there such thing?) I think she should think about adoption becuase she doesn't want to have anything to do with the father. As much as I love Jordan and I am so glad he is in our lives, I know the addition of another baby is going to add so much stress and chaos to the family dynamic. Everyone is having a hard time with this pregnancy, and nobody knows what it is going to be like once the baby is born. Who knows, but I just have to trust that God is in control and He has a plan for everything. I pray every day that my sister will come to Christ, but I have to be patient that God is calling her in His time, not mine. I love her, but she has some things to get under control in her life before her and I could ever be really close. It make me sad to see her suffer when I know she doesn't know she is suffering. She needs Christ so bad! I guess I will keep praying.

Ok, that is enough for one post. I don't have school now so I can hopefully write more often. We will see, though. Take care.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Where is it?

I am finding that it is very difficult for me to see God's hand in my life right now... and that is really hard for me to admit. I am so stressed out and nothing seems to be going right for me. I have been praying all morning for Him to show Himself in everything that is going on, but so far I haven't heard His answer.
I have that paper due in 30 hours and my teacher just told me that I can pick it up after noon at her door to make my corrections. I have class from 12:30-3:50, then I babysit from 4:15-7:45... When does she expect me to make those corrections? I sent her my paper on Friday, by the way, and she just now got back to me! I can't stand working last-minute, especially when this paper decides whether I graduate from the Honors College or not... ugh.
Then, we are showing our house today. We have everything pretty much in order, but getting it cleaned up at a moment's notice is not easy, even though there is no clutter anywhere. What a pain. Hopefully this will be the person that buys the house though and then we can just be done with it...
And, to top it all off, my sister tells me last night that she doesn't think her boyfriend is the father of the baby she is currently carrying. What?!?! She says, "the weekend I got pregnant me and [boyfriend] were broken up and I hooked up with my ex." To which I replied, "who?" She says, "oh, you guys don't know him." Que??? So now, she will have two kids with two fathers we have never met. We met Jordan's dad long after she was pregnant, but I had heard his name before. This guy was not even in the picture long enough for her to mention! And that is a big deal, because she talks about everyone she hangs out with. It makes me so sick to see what she is putting herself through, and how what she is putting her second child through. Jordan's dad keeps saying he is going to fight for custody rights of Jordan, which he does every time a holiday comes around, but he hasn't seen Jordan since before Christmas. Now, this guy that she hooked up with for one weekend might be the father of this second baby. Her and her boyfriend are still trying to work things out, even though he just found out the same news we did, but I simply can't see it working. This is so stressful! When is she going to learn?

I am just having a really hard time seeing anything positive right now, other than Jason probably has a job lined up and we are for sure moving home in mid-May. But both of those are so far away that they seem like they are never going to get here. Jason mentioned that he is starting to think about having kids, which is very interesting, and I can't wait for that! I have started thinking more and more about kids since I threw a baby shower for a friend yesterday. It seems like a lot of people are having babies right now (see previous posts...) and I am being kinda left out. I know it will come with God's timing, but it is very hard for me to not know the plan.

Ok, I suppose that is enough ranting. I am so thankful that God has given me this day, that I am healthy, that my family is healthy, and that things seem to be OK right now, I just really would like to see His hand in these trials I am going through, because it is rough right now.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

15 pages and 2 days

It is finally getting down to the end. All I have standing between me and summer is a 15 page paper to make my Spanish class count for honors credit and 2 days of school. After Tuesday I am free! No matter what happens with my paper (which I started and now have to re-do) or what grades I get on all the things I just turned in today (which was EVERYTHING, by the way, from the last 5 weeks) I will be done with school and all I will have standing between me and graduation is one semester of student teaching!

I am super excited to move home, especially since Jason might have a job lined up... we are still praying about that! But if he has a job then we can start looking for a house, which is even more exciting than just moving home! I am glad I get to take a sign language class this summer, and I hope I learn a lot, mostly so Jason and I can talk secretly when other people are around, haha. I just signed up for my certification tests that I have to take this summer, and that makes it feel a little more real that I am going to be a teacher soon.

I just wanted to write about the cool things that are happening in my life, and how excited I am for the things in the near future. Hopefully this means our lives are moving forward and we won't be stuck in this life of limbo that school is. Yay for being adults!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

All of a sudden

Things are really moving around here! Our house is officially "on the market" as of yesterday, we are packing up our house for the move, Jason graduates three weeks from tomorrow, I have like 3 days of class left... yikes! Things are really starting to happen, things I didn't think would ever get here. We have been talking about moving for a while now and now that the house is up for sale it seems much more real. And knowing that we will be home in less than 5 weeks is even crazier! I will have to come back to Lubbock multiple times before I can stay at home permanently, but at least we are taking some steps towards that time period. Jason has a good lead on a job, but we are still waiting to hear from the guy... hopefully he will have good news for us! God is really testing us through the job-hunting process. Jason has been applying for jobs since the end of last year and he has not heard one, single thing since that started. He finally has a good chance to get a job, though, but we are trying not to get our hopes up just in case something happens! Please pray that he would get a job so we don't have to live with his parents very long and we can start building our life.

And today is my last day at the elementary school I have been at :-(. I am so sad because I have loved every single minute I have been there and I was hoping it wouldn't end so quickly. That is the kind of school I want to work in and I would love to have colleagues that resemble the 5 teachers I got to work with while I was there. The kids were great and changed my mind about the grades I am willing to teach. I never even considered 4th grade and now I wouldn't mind teaching them at all (in English, that is... there is no way I have the Spanish knowledge to be able to teach 4th graders in Spanish... but that is another post). Today is going to be bittersweet because while it is the last day there it also means that I only have three days of class left in the semester, woohoo!

Ok, I know this was short but I hadn't written in a while and I figure I should update everyone on what is going on. There is nothing really new other than that stuff. My cousin going through chemo is on her last treatment, PRAISE GOD!! And my Gran is on her second to last treatment, though the treatments are a little rougher on her than my cousin, simply because of her age. Please pray for both of them, that they would recover quickly from their treatments and that they would not have side-effects. Thank you!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Babies, babies everywhere! (I'm ready to be a grown up)

Oh my goodness, so many people I know are having babies it is ridiculous. One baby was just born to a mission trip buddy and his wife, my sister is pregnant with her second, a friend from church is pregnant, a former neighbor's wife is pregnant with their third, a friend from elementary school is pregnant and due any day now... it is outrageous! Maybe the craziest part is that I don't feel the need to have a baby right now like I used to feel. I am excited about half of these pregnancies, and nervous about the other half. I guess I just want to be such a good mom that I want to be completely ready before we even start trying. I know things happen that are outside your control, like God choosing to give you a child much before you thought you were ready, but so far that hasn't been our situation. Of course I would be thrilled if God wanted to give us a child right now, but that is not in the plan or a while. We are going to be one of those couples that is married for 4 or more years before we start having kids, and I never thought that would be me. I always thought you graduate college, get married, have kids, all within like 2 years. Well obviously we did things a little out of order for that to be the plan, so I have had to develop a different idea of a timeline for the next stage in my life. In fact, Jason and I have decided that we can't even make a plan, so we are truly in wait-mode for right now. We have no idea what the next couple of years is going to look like, and we are hoping that God will guide us along nicely so we don't have to guess. We are praying about all of the timing for everything, including where we live, where we work, and when to have kids. But again, we are still waiting to see what the plan is before we can comply with it.

On a different note, I have started to think about my certification exams. I have to take like 4 of them, so I need to start as soon as possible. Actually, these exams hadn't crossed my mind until I got an email reminding me that I should start taking them THIS semester, YIKES!! So, we move home like May 18th-ish, go to St. Lucia May 28-June 2, then my test is June 6 for my bilingual certification! That should make for a very interesting few weeks. I then have to take the TExES and PPR exams on June 27. I will be starting a sign language class at UNM VC June 9, which will just add to the chaos. I had hoped to not have to go back to Lubbock too much over the summer, but it looks like that is not going to happen, at least not in June.

I am just so ready to graduate and start my life. I want a house that Jason and I can call our own, that we can decorate however we want, and that we can remodel in any way, shape, or fashion that we desire. I want Jason to have a job so we don't have to worry about money, and so we don't have to live with Jason's parents any longer than necessary (not that I don't love them, because I do, but I will be ready for our own space). I want to be able to start thinking about having a family without worrying about needing to graduate first or whatever. I know in the future I will probably look back on this time and wonder why I was so anxious to be out of this phase of my life, but I really am ready to move on. I think I am finally ready to be a grown up, which I have not been able to say, and it is kinda weird. Ok, that is enough for one night. Toodles!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


Literally, that is how I spent my afternoon and evening yesterday. I was feeling kinda crummy when I woke up, decided to go work out anyway, and felt fine during my hour workout. Then I came home, got ready for school, and started feeling icky again. My stomach was just hurting and I felt a little nauseated. I drank some Sprite, made it through the day, and was even able to teach a lesson to the 4th grade math class I am in right now. I was on my way to Spanish, which starts at 4pm after I get out of being at the elementary school at 3:15pm, and decided I probably shouldn't go. My stomach wasn't getting any better and it actually felt a little worse. So I came home, emailed my professor, and then all h*** broke loose. I had to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes, then I threw up everything that was left inside me... it was horrible. I hate throwing up, so this is like the worst illness imaginable. Well I started feeling better when I was falling asleep on the couch, only I wasn't comfortable enough to actually fall asleep. So I decided to just go to bed. When I woke up this morning my stomach didn't hurt any more, but I have ZERO energy because of the lack of anything nutritious in my body. I lost 3 lbs. this week and I am thinking it is all from yesterday. I am off to school today, though, and hopefully by lunch time I will feel like eating something. Today is going to be SO LONG. I have class from 9-11:30, 12:15-3:15, meeting at 4 with a professor, then meeting at 5 to work on a project. This must be what it feels like to work a real job... wish me luck!