Thursday, December 30, 2010

Dreams and Painting

Last night I had a horrible, terrible dream. I dreamt that Jason and I went to the doctor for our routine monthly visit and the doctor discovered that we had lost the baby. I was horribly panicked, stressed, and it woke me up. I laid in bed for more than 30 minutes just waiting to feel him move around. I felt him basically right away, but still laid there to make sure I felt him and not just a muscle spasm or something like that. It was a devastating feeling right after I woke up, it was horrible. It made me realize how much I love my son already, and how much I want to care for him and prevent anything bad from happening to him. It was a very scary dream and I hope it doesn't happen again.

On a happier note, Jason felt the baby move for the first time yesterday! It was so funny because I asked him, "So, what did you think?" He said, "It was weird." Ugh, boys. They have no sense of sentimentality. I hope he gets more excited about it as time goes on and as the kicks get stronger. He is actually doing really well with being supportive, loving, caring, and at least pretending to be excited. He is starting to try to figure out how we are going to make everything work once the baby gets here, but I guess I will leave that to him for now, at least until it gets a little closer.

And finally, we are painting the nursery either today or tomorrow, yippee! We (meaning I, because Jason trusts me with this decision apparently) picked chocolate brown, teal, and green. It would have been pink if it was a girl, but since he is a boy he gets green instead. Hopefully I will be able to take pictures when we are finished. We don't have any furniture except for a rocking chair, so it will be a while before we get everything together and finished, but hopefully Spring Break will be our deadline. Let's see if I can convince Jason of that :-)

Hope everyone has a blessed day and a fantastic New Year!!

Monday, December 27, 2010


I finally broke down and got some maternity tops. I went to the store Motherhood Maternity and I love it!! They have some really cute clothes and they actually fit me and my growing belly. It isn't like buying things that are just extra large to make room for baby, but I can buy my normal medium size and it fits much better everywhere else, and there just happens to be room for the baby also. It is definitely a good thing. I also found some impulse-buy shoes at Kohl's, but I always find things there. I found some boots I really wanted but I wasn't convinced they were worth the price. Now I'm kinda regretting that decision, but what's done is done, right?

Tomorrow I will be playing golf for the first time since starting to grow a child. I think it might be pretty funny to see a pregnant lady out on the golf course, but hopefully I will get in some good exercise without looking too ridiculous. And it will probably be cold tomorrow so I can wear some big jackets and I won't look as obviously pregnant. We shall see how it goes, but I'm not too optimistic about my score at the end. Partly because of my belly, partly because my balance is not as good as it once was, and mostly because I haven't played in several months.

On a sadder note- I found out about a family who lost their mother last night to a bad car accident. There are three small children, one who was just delivered prematurely yesterday when she reached the hospital after the accident, and a husband who is now missing the mother of his children. I did not know this family personally, but it breaks my heart to know what they are going through. Please send prayers their way and ask for the Lord to comfort them. They are believers, and they will all be reunited in heaven one day, but it does not make the situation feel much better at the moment. I just pray they can find peace in the Lord and still trust that He is in control and He is who He says He is.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

21 weeks and Christmas

Those are the big things that happened in the last couple of days. Since we found out we are having a boy we have been sharing the news with all of the family and friends we have been around in the last few days. It makes it seem so much more real now that we know he is a he, and we can call him a him now, rather than just "squishy" like Jason calls him. We even got some baby Christmas presents from the grandmas (a baby photo album, socks, a bib, and a glider rocker). We haven't bought anything for him yet, because, while we like to plan ahead, we want to make sure of what we want before we go buy anything. Having the rocker is very exciting, though, because it was one of those things I really wanted but probably would not have bought for myself, so thanks mom! 21 weeks means the countdown is officially in the teens. Can that be real? I can't believe it. I have another ultrasound coming up in about 3 weeks and I can't wait to see our little guy again.

I'm starting to feel nervous about what it is going to mean to be a mom to a newborn. I know how much work they can be from an outsider's point of view, because I have never been around an infant for any length of time to see what all it really takes. Like I said, I understand the idea and can kinda get a feel for it, but I'm totally unprepared for the total exhaustion that is going to come along with motherhood. Don't get me wrong, I've wanted to be a mother for a long time, especially since Jason and I got married 4.5 years ago, but the reality is starting to sink in and all I can think about is that I just want to do a good job and not mess up. I know, I know, every parent messes up here and there, but I still don't want to :-) All I can think about is, "will I be a good mom?" "How will I make sure I raise a God-fearing, God-honoring son who is respectful to everyone and places the Lord before all else?" "What am I going to do when I am so tired I can't stand up anymore but he still needs things from me and to be taken care of?" Yeah, the list goes on and on. It is very daunting but I keep reminding myself that this is God's plan for Jason and I, and He would not have given this beautiful baby boy to us if He wasn't going to equip us for the job. All I can say is, "Lord, make me strong and help me be the mother I need to be for my son."

Thursday, December 23, 2010

It's a BOY!!

That's right, we are going to have a son! It is so hard to believe because I always thought I would have a girl, and always pictured myself with a girl, even though I wanted a boy first. So I am still a little in shock about having a boy like I wanted. Jason is very excited to have a son, although he would have been just fine having a girl, too. The baby is already showing his stubborn side and wouldn't cooperate yesterday at our ultrasound. The tech had to poke and prod him before he would let us take a picture of his "stuff" that proved he was a "he." He then kept his hand over his face so we couldn't get a good picture of his profile, and all the pictures of his face have his hand in front. It was really surreal looking at him all over the screen at the doctor's office yesterday. It made it really real that I am having a child, and that he really is in there. He is measuring about 4 days ahead of schedule, but they kept my due date the same because his growth can fluctuate between now and when he gets here. Hopefully he comes really close to his due date!

We decided we are going to keep the name a secret until we have him in May, but that would be more of a challenge if we actually had anything picked out yet, which we don't. We have one we have talked about, but Jason doesn't love it, so we are going to keep the discussion open until we decide on something we both like. The funny thing is we had a girl name picked out, but that doesn't do us any good right now :-) So, I will post when we have a name decided on, but nobody gets to know until he makes his appearance and we can introduce him to the family!

In other news, today we are making tamales and posole with Jason's family. We wanted to start this tradition last year, but Jason had a terrible stomach virus so we had to stay home instead of coming to their house to help. We get to help this year, though, and it is going well so far! It is going to be wonderful when we actually get to eat these things on Christmas day during the White Elephant gift exchange that takes place every year with Jason's dad's family. Talk about a riot! It is hilarious because most people just bring junk from their house, but they try to make it seem much better than it is. Anywho, I will definitely be looking forward to the tamales! I hope everyone has a very merry Christmas and that we all remember the reason for the season. God bless.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

1/2 way there

I can't believe tomorrow marks the half-way point of growing this baby. I feel like a blimp, and things are stretching, pulling, and twinging all the time. The good part, however, is I can feel baby moving all day long, and I finally have my energy back! I'm still tired all the time from teaching and whatnot, but the pregnancy fatigue is waning. Jason has yet to feel the baby moving, but I'm really looking forward to when he can feel it! We have our gender determination ultrasound on Wednesday and I can hardly stand waiting. We keep calling it a "he", but sometimes "she" slips out, and Jordan decided that while it is a boy, it is a "she" when he talks about it. So there is no real feeling either way, so it is going to be a surprise no matter what! I just hope the midwife doesn't say I've gained too much weight, because I feel like I am really packing on the pounds!

In other news, we have a completed remodel! Our livingroom and all the bedrooms got carpet yesterday and it is so wonderful to get to walk around comfortably in our house without shoes on. And having carpet means we got to put up our Christmas tree! Neither Jason nor I feel like it is Christmas season yet because we didn't have any decorations in our house until today, but hopefully now we can get into the spirit. We have been listening to Christmas music for the past few weeks, so hopefully that will help. It's super nice getting to sit by our fireplace and enjoy our Christmas tree now.

Jason is going to take this week off from work so we will both have two full weeks to hang out. We are going Christmas shopping tomorrow and Monday. We are making tamales and posole with his family on Thursday. Friday is luminaria day. What an awesome time of year it is!

Ok, I think that is all from my end. Hopefully I will get some pictures up of the bump and of the livingroom remodel here soon. We will see how productive I can be this week that I have off :-) Have a blessed Christmas!

Saturday, December 4, 2010


Unfortunately, I have caught a cold. Who wouldn't? I mean, I work with 20 sniffling, sneezing, coughing children every day, I have stress out the wazoo, and I'm pregnant. I'm shocked I held off this long! I have a horribly head cold and have gone through an entire box of lotion Kleenex in 3 days. It is kinda rough. But it is much more work for me to call in sick than it is to actually go to work, so I have just been going to work. Thankfully I have the weekend to rest, but it is going to be a pretty busy one. I get to have lunch with a friend who I worked with last year. Tonight is dinner with Jason's parents. Tomorrow is church and lesson planning. I'm so glad there are only 2 weeks left of work, then I can have a true vacation, and enjoy our new livingroom hopefully!

The electricians are here right now finishing up the sockets and everything. They say they will be done today which means we can finally use our fireplace! Of course we missed the cold snap we had last week and couldn't use it then, but we will be using it the moment we get the OK. It is still going to be a little while before we get carpet and tile down in the livingroom, which is a little bit of a bummer, but it is going to be nice not having workers here all the time. Hopefully I can get some pictures of it almost completed so everyone can see the progress. I hope they hurry because I want to set up our Christmas tree! We may have to leave it up an extra week or so since we can't set it up when we wanted to.

OK, I think that is the update. Oh, Jordan is being incredibly cute about the baby. He always asks how the baby is doing. He talks about him/her growing and getting bigger. Last night he said a prayer for the baby. And when we left my parents' house last night he gave the baby a hug and a kiss. Literally, he hugged just my little belly then kissed it. It was adorable!! Him talking about it makes it feel much more real for me. I am +10lbs so far, although I lost a pound this week, so I'm not sure what is going on there. I'm looking forward to the next appointment because we get to see the baby and find out if it is a him or a her. So exciting! I hope everyone has a great weekend! God bless and take care.