Ups and downs

This week has been full of them so far. Early in the week I wanted to scream because of the way all the student were behaving. They were pretty much just wound up and wouldn't settle down. Yesterday I had my first write-up. A student hit another student on the face. I didn't know what to do, but apparently it was a no-brainer to everyone else that this student needed a write-up. What can I say, I am still learning. I have never seen a write-up before, much less done one myself. Then, two groups of kids after the write-up, I made a student cry. I don't necessarily feel bad about it because of the situation, but I never want to make a student cry. I was not doing so hot yesterday after all that.

I was dreading today because it was my last day with the kids before spring break and I thought they might be crazy. Well, they were, but at least I had prepared myself for it. I didn't ask them to do all that much for me, just write a little short story, which they all did without much complaint (surprisingly). Then we played games and I pretty much let them goof off because I got what I could out of them. They were nuts, but it wasn't unbarable. I don't have students tomorrow, so that will be nice. I can just spend the day organizing, planning, and taking care of some admin stuff that I don't get to work on during the week since I have no conference/planning period during the day.

The one thing I am having a hard time with is learning about the family situations of some of my students. There are several foster-family situations, and several of these kids remember their parents telling them they don't want them any more. Other parents are either dead or in jail. Older siblings are dead or in jail or pregnant. One student is being raised by an older sibling because one parent died recently and the other parent doesn't give a rip about the children. My heart just breaks for these kids and I am shocked at how resiliant they are. It gives me a much better picture for what these kids have to go through every day, and helps explain why there might be some behavior issues or personality things that are a little different than some of the rest of the kids. I just feel like I should be doing so much more for these kids, but I can't. I am only one person, and it is inappropriate for me to get involved in their home lives beyond just being there for them during class, and being someone they can talk to when necessary. I care for them so much, I just want to fix all their problems.

Ok, I just had to get that out. These kids have it so much harder than I ever did, and in most of the cases you would never know it, you would just think they were acting up every once in a while. They are great, and I love working with them, and I just hope I can make a slight difference in their lives. I still have a lot to learn, but slowly but surely I think I am figuring it out.