Monday, March 14, 2011

Slightly Nervous

I have had some bleeding yesterday and today, and as far as I can tell it is nothing to really worry about, but the midwife on-call said she is going to have me go in for an ultrasound to get checked out. She said it is not an emergency but because it has happened twice then she wants us to be sure. I'm trying really hard not to freak out about it, but it isn't really all that easy. Now I have all these things running through my head-

What if I go into labor? (That would be insane since I haven't even turned in my paperwork to HR yet about maternity leave, or talked to a sub)
Is the baby ok?
Am I ok?
Will I still be able to go to lunch with a friend today?
Will I still get to have my massage tomorrow?
Will I still be able to go to Lubbock this weekend?? (I think so, but it is still a thought I've had...)
Is the baby going to come much earlier than we thought, even if it is not "now"?
What is going on if both the baby and I are fine?
What is my midwife going to say at my appointment on Wednesday?

So yeah, I am a little bit of a nervous wreck, even though I'm not really worried about the baby because I still feel him moving around and everything. I haven't had any contractions that I know of, and no pain that is unusual (my back always hurts these days). I'm going to call the clinic in about an hour and make an appointment for an ultrasound, then take it from there. Jason and I prayed for the baby and me this morning and I feel better since then, but it is hard to come to terms with all of these feelings and thoughts running around inside my brain.

I appreciate any and all prayers. I know God is in control of this and that He has a plan for my life and my son's life, and whatever that means at the moment I don't know. God has never let me down, ever, and I know He will not start now. Thanks in advance for the prayers! Have a blessed day.

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