I feel like a lot has happened and not much has happened at the same time since I last posted. This week felt pretty uneventful. We had an early release day on Wednesday, which was nice, but it was a pretty typical week. I'm still having trouble adjusting to this student teaching placement... I don't know what it is: whether I am just so used to the Lubbock school system and this is too different, that I am not clicking as well with this teacher, or that I have not fully adjusted to being home. I just am not sure what to do to finally settle in. I still feel like I have to go visit my parents whenever I have some free time because I will be going back to Lubbock any day and I won't get to see them for a while.
On the other hand, I love being here and I feel like the next logical step is for us to have kids. Jason doesn't quite agree with me, though... He wants to have a while for us to be "just us" before we think about kids, which I understand, but we have been married for more than 3 years, we own a house, Jason has a job, I will be done with school in a month and a half... doesn't it make sense to have kids now? I see how my sister's kids are and how much we both love being around them and I wonder "when is it my turn?" My parents are getting to have the "grandparent experience" now that my sister doesn't live with them and I see how much they love it. I want for them to love our kids just as much, but sometimes I can't help but think that my sister took that from me. I know they will love all of their grandchildren, but sometimes I wonder if our kids will be as special to them because they already will have at least two. I don't know, just some things I have been thinking about. I know it is going to be a number of months before we actually consider it, but I so badly want to be a mother that I can't help but think about it often.
I am really missing my Lubbock friends. It is so hard being an hour different than Lubbock because every time I think about calling anyone I realize it is an hour later and it is inconvenient for whomever I want to call (like dinner time or bed time...). I just so badly want to be able to call my friend and just be able to drive over to her house to decompress from a hard day at school, go eat Fazoli's, and play the wii or watch a chick-flick. (You know how you are.) I miss her, especially, but I miss my other Lubbock friends as well. I miss going to church at FBC, painting pottery at Clay Cafe, and having girls' nights out. It is still taking me a lot of time to get used to living here, like I said earlier. I have no idea how we are going to make friends. Jason is not quite ready to get into a home fellowship group through church (like a small group that meets during the week) or to start working in the children's ministry at chuch. I know we will meet people there, but until then we are still hanging out with our parents mostly. Not that that is a bad thing, it would just be nice to have some friends our age. Actually, Jason has friends here. His high school buddies are still here and they hang out at least weekly, and while I enjoy spending time with them they are not the same as girlfriends.
Ok, sorry I'm just ranting. We are seriously persuing our kitchen remodel. The bathroom, closet, and office (finally, after this weekend) are all done and the next project is the kitchen. It is painful thinking about how much it is going to cost us, but we will get it done and it will be much more functional and I will be able to be a better wife because hopefully I will enjoy it enough to want to cook some more. Yesterday I finally got to see the cabinets and counter tops I picked together and I LOVED them. They are just exactly the way I pictured them in my head and it made me so excited! It is going to be hard to stay within our budget, but thankfully the people we are working with are very kind and are able to give us a whole lot of options for what we like. I will post pictures of all the completed projects when we get more batteries for the camera.
I hope you have a blessed week and I will write again when I have a chance! Take care and God bless.
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